Crash course in parenting - Life as a foster mom

I am trying to register for baby things. I'm having a terrible time! I have registered for a crib, a changing table/dresser combo, some sheets and a matching "duster" which I think is like a bed skirt for the crib.  Someone made us a baby quilt with elephants on it (our first gift for the baby!), so I kind of decided hey, I like elephants, we'll just use that as kind of a "theme".  It's hard imagining a nursery that will probably not exist for another 6-7 months!  Also the bedding set that I really liked was called "Benjamin"...and was $300 for 4 pieces. Yeah...no way dude. No. Way.  So I just picked some stuff not in a set, which I like just fine. The furniture I registered for is black and the crib is convertible to a toddler bed and then I think a full-sized bed, and it is manly enough I think it will grow with him just fine.  I think we are done having babies after this one (ha ha ha...I say that as though this whole thing was planned!) s...

I'm grouchy. For reals. I don't know if it's hormones or some combination of being crazy busy and all that I feel I need to accomplish in the next few days, or too much "people time" and not enough "alone time".  I'm trying to get year-end wrapped up for the business so we can get tax stuff done, I'm hoping we can file our taxes early because we are expecting a refund for our adoptions and would like to be able to use that as part of our down payment on our house this summer!  I know sometimes it takes a while to get your refund when you are doing the adoption tax credit.  And once all that stuff is done it is time to start packing and really preparing for the baby to get here.  I need to find a dresser or something (I have some ideas!) and I need to finish all the stuff around the house, painting and filling nail holes and all of that kind of stuff. Never ending, I tell you! D has been home on Christmas break and doesn't go back to school ...

I know it has been a loooong long time since I updated. I could say a lot but I'll try to keep it short.  Maybe in the next few days I'll have some time to write some more (pardon me while I giggle at the prospect of having more time!). Christmas was lovely. Our children unfortunately missed or had shortened or car naps four days in a row (count them, FOUR!) and at least one night of staying up until 10:30 p.m. talking amongst themselves (much to our chagrin!).  Zero days of sleeping in, of course. :)  Lots of family was seen, about 17 hours were spent driving, lots of fun was had, and many presents were opened.  Several tantrums occurred, though I have to say I think they did very well with the sleep situation being what it was. Many times they waited until we were home or in the car to melt down, which is always better than having to deal with a public tantrum!  Last night they were in bed by 6:30 p.m. and didn't wake up until almost 8 this morning. So yeah,...

I don't know that I've talked about this much on my blog, but we have started a "strips" system at home for the two little boys.  If they have to go to time out, they pull a strip. If they have a major tantrum, they pull a strip. If they hit or kick things while they are having a tantrum (which was becoming a major problem with the C-monster, to the point where he had begun hitting me which I wanted to nip in the bud ASAP for the baby's sake especially) it's an automatic strip too.  They have three strips a day, and if all are pulled then they spend the remainder of the day in their room. Normally if they pull all their strips it's a good indication that they are overly tired. For example, a few nights ago C pulled all his strips at I think about 5:30, and I went to check on him at 6:30 and he was fast asleep (the lights were on in his room and everything, and we were all playing loudly in the living room). I asked him to come eat dinner and he said he d...

I just realized a few days ago that I am not a foster parent anymore. I mean, it should be obvious...but I guess I just really didn't think of it until now.  We got a (bulk) email from our agency asking for updates regarding what ages and genders of placements that we are willing to take.  They have like 60 kids living in the shelter now and are trying to find homes for them to go to for the holidays. I responded with tears in my eyes that we are not open to placements at this time. Part of my heart strings were being pulled...like maybe, maybe we could take an older boy, he could share a room with D, right?  We could get another set of bunk beds, D would love it, maybe it would be ok or even be fun.  But another part of me says no, now is not the time for this.  It is heart wrenching.  I'm crying now just thinking about it. __________________________________________________ Miss M is having some problems lately.  I mean she has always had attitude;...

It's done! It was totally crazy at the court house. I believe 63 children were adopted today by about 30 or so families.  We got there about 30 minutes early just in case.  My parents, my husband's mom and step-dad, and my second parents Bruce and Rhonda came. Miss M was pretty grouchy when we got there. Not sure what her deal was, or if she was just feeling a little overwhelmed. The adoption itself was OK, we all sat at the big tables in front of the judge where I have seen bio dad and bio mom and attorneys etc. sit. I have never sat there before, so it was kind of weird.  We put all four of the kids in a row, which was kind of a bad idea because neither of us were in between them to keep them shushed! After about 5 minutes of our attorney asking us questions the kids were getting antsy, but nobody seemed to mind.  I started crying when they were asking me questions. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it through the day without tears!  Then it was over bef...

I did my update the other day on my phone, so didn't have much of a chance to say what I was wanting to say. I was a little bummed at first about it being a boy. Like I said, I in no way should have been surprised. In fact almost every night I was dreaming about opening a cupcake to find blue frosting inside.  Not to mention the other boy dreams I have had.  I've had only a very few handful of girl dreams my entire pregnancy. And it's so silly, I mean wow, I get to have a healthy baby boy! How many women never get to experience that in their lives?  And heck, up until about 4 months ago I never thought I'd get to experience it in my life!  I think I just wanted another girl because I'd like Miss M to have a sister, and boys can be a little bit, you know...crazy? Is that the word I'm looking for? We have WWF in our living room on basically a nightly basis. And sometimes it's exhausting.  The energy that they have is amazing. And a little girl could be jus...

Baby boy! Boys run in my husband's family...his mom has three sons, his two brothers have two sons each. Not a girl to be found! So I shouldn't be surprised. So looks like it will be just Miss M and I with 5 males in the house!

Let's say, hypothetically, that every night you set your wedding ring on the counter on the bathroom, far to the side where it won't accidentally get knocked anywhere.  And let's also say that you don't put it back on until you've taken a shower in the morning. And let's say your 13 year old is supposed to clean the bathroom once a week.  And he cleans the bathroom (which includes wiping down the counters, cleaning the sink, toilet, sweeping and mopping), and then after you take your shower your ring is not there. So you ask him to look for it, and he cannot find it. And you look for it, and your husband looks for it, and it is no where to be found.  You search for probably a good 30 minutes in every nook and cranny, and every possible place it could have been taken off just in case you deviated from your normal habit.  So you ask him which trash he dumped the stuff into when he swept the floor...and he says he didn't dump it into a trash can, he dumped it...

I've been getting kicked all day long. I think our baby must have done some serious growing and/or strength training the last day or two because the amount of kicking I am receiving is amazing! I can even feel it when I'm standing up which is a new development.  I don't think the baby has slept at all today.  Last night just as I would drift off to sleep I'd get a little kick. It doesn't hurt, it's just startling. I am still not 100% used to the idea that there is a child inside of me. It's just all so very odd.  My initial reaction after getting kicked is always "What the??...oh yeah. Baby." We find out the sex in 4 days!  And our adoption is next Saturday!  One of these days I'm going to sit down with the little ones and talk to them about it so they kind of know what is going on. I mean we've talked about it before, but I think they kind of need a refresher. I don't know if we should try to talk to D about it too.  Actually I shoul...

-If cleaning my house makes me out of breath, does that mean I don't have to do it anymore? Ha ha ha ha! -Wrestled with God this morning.  Sometimes you just have days that get started on the totally wrong foot and it takes some time with Him to get it back on track. Today was totally one of those days. -My sister is in town, and it is really fun that we are at basically the same point in our pregnancies.  I'm glad to not be the only one feeling rather awkward about now. I know, I know, the best is yet to come. :) -We are looking into putting an egress window in our basement, moving D down there, and then moving one of the three children (probably Miss M) into D's current room...or I guess, she will stay in whichever of the two rooms is smaller and the boys will share the other one. Then we will maybe rent an office space to work out of, since we currently work out of the basement. Maybe. It is just getting out of hand with her waking up and yelling/screaming, waking ...

Today I got our cupcakes ordered for our gender reveal, and finalized plans for our adoption party. We are having a balloon twister/face painter come for 2 hours, and a photographer is going to be taking family pics before the party and also come to the party for an hour to take pictures.  I am so excited!  When I ordered the cupcakes for the gender reveal I swear the lady taking my order was just as excited as I was. It was pretty sweet. :) I almost had a heart attack earlier when I called to confirm our reservation for the party venue, they told me that the room had been double-booked!  Then he put me on hold...and came back to say no, it was fine, the other party was in a different room. PHEW. Miss M had a fever of 103 at daycare yesterday, with no symptoms whatsoever. They called me to pick her up early, I was shocked because none of my kids have ever had a fever that high! Plus she had no symptoms so it is totally weird. So she has to stay home today of course. I...

Not much is more gross than watching your 2-year-old take alternating bites of ketchup and cake. Unless, of course, it is your 3-year-old dipping his cake frosting in ketchup...and eating it. *shudder* Kids are gross. On a side note, I am trying to get a clown to come to our adoption party and do face painting and balloon making. Exciting, right? And a photographer too, so I don't have to worry about getting pictures.  I feel like I have 8,000 thing to do all within the next week or so. Phew! I will be glad when this is over. Except then is Christmas and New Year's, then we start taking our birth classes and all that and really get ready for the baby, then the baby comes, then we pack up our entire house and move, then it will be summer and D will be home from school, then the C monster will start kindergarten and D will start high school (!!!!)...it's gonna be crazy.  Maybe a year or so from now things will settle down a bit. Maybe. :)

The baby is perfect. And there is just one, praise God. If there were two we'd be so thankful but it would be very, very hard.  So I am thankful for one baby! It was amazing. Our tech walked us through everything. We could see the hemispheres of the brain, chambers of the heart, the spine and individual ribs, the kidneys...I mean seriously.  First I think it's amazing that at 20 weeks (even earlier, really!) the baby has all those things, pees, swallows, heart pumps blood, etc., but also it is amazing that technology is able to let us see all of that! The tech said she got a very clear view of the sex, and had us look away from the screen while she was looking at that area to check bladder function and all that. She wrote it on a piece of paper, folded it up a million times, and stapled it shut so no one can peek. Exciting! But seriously, that is just so secondary to the fact that we have what appears to be a perfectly healthy baby.  The baby moved around a little bit...

Best vacation ever. Pretty sure that sums it up. The very absolutely worst part was that our plane left at 5:45 a.m. on Friday morning.  We had to drive an hour to get there, then park our car, wait for the shuttle to get to the air port, get checked in, get through security...you know the drill. Our plan was to wake up at 2:30 a.m. I of course woke up at 1:50 and couldn't get back to sleep.  I fell asleep during take-off of our first flight, no idea how that even happened.  Pretty much once they shut off the cabin lights I was out cold.  Once we were flying steady I woke up. Then we didn't sleep again until we got to our hotel in Florida that afternoon (after an almost 4 hour layover in Atlanta!), and we were able to nap for about an hour before having to get up to go see our friends. Well, Brian went and saw his friends, I went and hung out with a bunch of ladies I did not know who got progressively more drunk as the night went on. After an hour and a half I wa...

Tomorrow morning we are waking up at, oh, maybe 3:30 a.m. to leave for our vacation/friend's wedding! I do not want to work right now! At all! Friday night I am invited to a "girls night" with the bride & co.  It's at a restaurant, so no strippers or anything crazy like that.  I will know the mother of the groom, and that is it. And the bride of course.  Brian will be with the guys. I'm a little nervous at being alone with a bunch of strangers. Also the invite said they were going to be there in time for happy hour...yeah, this pregnant lady isn't going to be partaking in all of that nonsense!  I don't drink anymore pregnant or not though.  But definitely not now!  So the potential for awkwardness is fearfully high, but I will have our rental car so I can leave whenever. Also I told Brian, if we are there long enough then maybe I can order and eat TWO dinners...I do get awfully hungry these days! :) We were asked if the newspaper could do a story ...

Had our appointment today, and we got to hear the heartbeat. She kept kicking and so the sound kept getting muffled, and my husband said "She's farting in there!" and I started cracking up and then of course it was impossible to hear the heartbeat.  We also held a model of a 20 week old baby and it is huge! I'm not 20 weeks yet, I have about 10 more days. But still.  It's amazing that a tiny human almost that big is in there. Needless to say, there was no cat in there. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief. ;)  Ultrasound is scheduled for the 13th! I've been in a lot of pain today and they are testing my urine to see if I might have a bladder infection.  I was actually in tears twice today and pretty much have been lying around all day trying not to move, because almost everything hurts to do besides lie still or sit still.  The Midwife said it very well could just be ligament pain from stretching...if so, then please help me God because it hurts so ...

I seriously thought about getting on the "Thankful" bandwagon for the month of November, but honestly I don't think I could remember to do something every day. I mean I FEEL thankful every single day, but I probably wouldn't remember to write it down. So here is something I am thankful for. I am thankful for being useful, to other people and (I hope) to God. I live a pretty sheltered life, I stay home most of the time since I work here, I don't interact with too many people outside of my family on a regular basis.  But just in the last couple of days I have made an impact on a stranger's life and an old friend's life and it is just very cool that God can still use me in these ways, right where I am. A person that read my blog said that because of my blog and God working in her heart she and her husband had decided to be open to foster care (rather than just adoption only).  I think that is really awesome. Foster care is putting your heart on the line e...

This first one might be TMI but it is really funny. Miss M said she needed to "potty", which almost always means she needs to poop.  So we went to the bathroom and I helped her get on the potty. She finally finished her business and was getting back off and I farted, I mean really really loud (I blame it on the baby).  She looked at me and said (with a concerned look on her face) "Need to go potty, Mommy?" I burst out laughing and I'm still laughing about it - so hilarious!  Nope, just gas...lots of it I'm sad to say! Brian was watching football and a commercial for a washing machine came on. The way they filmed the commercial made it look like two people were on their bed which was inside the washing machine. C was rather scandalized. "Why are those people in the washing machine?" Me: (one of those not-real-well-though-out answers): "Maybe they needed to get clean." Him: "They need to get clean in the shower!" Yes, that is ...

The two littelest have been very sick. Pretty much since Friday.  Sunday I stayed home with all 3 from church. Y was a zombie sitting on the couch for about 2 days straight, poor guy! Got them to the doctor on Monday.  Stayed home with all 3 Monday. Had to wake them up from their naps to get them to the doctor and Y started crying and said "When we get back from the doctor can we sleep some more???" Then Y and M only stayed home all day on Tuesday. But on Tuesday I had to drive my husband around for his work for like 3 hours in the morning, so they came with us and coughed in their car seats (and slept!).  We got home, ate lunch, and they laid down for nap. Then I had told a friend I'd watch her almost-2-year-old during her doctor appointment, and he came over during "nap" time. But would not nap.  I think developmentally he is a little "off", not a normal 2 year old by any means.  So I was basically chasing him around the entire time, he would not...

Our attorney FINALLY received our adoption packet yesterday.  Her assistant called today to go over some details. First, nobody ever filed anything for D's dad to give him notice.  I am shocked. That was sarcasm, FYI. I'm pretty sure I started asking about this back in, what, July? June, maybe?  Now here we are, October 26, one month away from our hoped-for adoption date, and it is still not done. So basically the paralegal said she did a bunch of research on D's bio dad, found his last known address in his juvenile court records, and that unless she can find anything else then she will publish in that city. She has to publish a notice to him once a week for 3 weeks, then he has 5 business days from the last notice to file a petition contesting the adoption. Then if he doesn't do that, she will have to file a notice of what they did and that he never contested, and THEN the adoption can go through. Because of the Thanksgiving holiday we are cutting things a little s...

Yeah you should be proud, 2 days in a row! Just because I have a lot more stuff to talk about. D asked me a few days ago, "Can we see our mom next year?" He has never asked what our agreement with her was as far as contact, I'm sure he assumed (or may have been told) "They won't let me see you."  I explained to him as delicately as I could what our agreement states, that she has to initiate contact but she can have two visits a year, one around Christmas and one around Mother's Day.  And that, again, it is up to her to initiate. Our phone numbers have never changed, she knows them and knows where we live. He asked why she had to initiate. I explained that she moves around, her phone number is always changing. In fact right now we do not have a current address or phone number for her.  Also that we didn't want to be the ones to track her down because we can't be sure of what kind of "place" she is in. I believe that is how I put it. ...

I should really write more blogs, that way when I do write they don't have to be 80 million paragraphs long. Sorry! :) Soooo last Saturday we had Miss M's birthday party. It was so fun! I had a really fun time picking out GIRL things, girl gifts, pink cake and frosting, and decorating. I tried the trick of filling a plastic baggie with frosting and cutting a corner and piping. It turned out really well actually and the cake was pretty cute.  It was a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and then I made strawberry cupcakes with pink frosting and also used pink frosting to decorate the cake. She got lots of dolls, doll accessories like a stroller, crib, and swing, doll clothes, clothes for herself (which were alll adorable).  We got her a bike helmet and a camping chair, and she loves both of them so I guess that's ok!  Fun and cake were had by all.  The little boys have been playing with the dolls too. It's as though there are no other toys in the h...

Well after puking up the first thing he ate this morning, the C monster has not puked again today! I felt so bad, I was just letting him eat little bits of food at a time and then waiting to see if he could keep it down or not. He was STARVING, which I can't blame him, he hadn't been able to keep anything down since breakfast yesterday. Every 5 minutes he would ask "Can I eat some more now?" I think he is finally full. :) Anyway, we watched Sesame Street and Dino Train all morning, and this afternoon I am trying to get some work done while he is playing in the basement play room next to my office. He is talking, talking, talking...I'm not sure if he thinks he is talking to me or what, but the poor child is not used to having nobody to play with and I think he kind of doesn't know what to do with himself. So he is just running his mouth, singing random snatches of songs, just generally making noise. It's kind of hilarious. Y and M might have to get pi...

If you try to calm a hysterical 2 year old by singing "You are my sunshine" and rocking her in the dark...and then start to get all choked up at the thought of someone taking one of your babies away. Hormones, I tell ya what! The song did work, though. :) Also a bit of random information: yesterday I had a piece of chocolate cake and laid down for a nap. Normally I sleep on my tummy and so far it hadn't caused too many problems. But yesterday when I laid down all I could feel was "flutter flutter flutter". I could hardly sleep because the baby was tickling me on the inside. I think she likes chocolate cake as much as I do. ;) Got a call from preschool today that C was puking, so I went to get him about an hour earlier than usual. He puked all his lunch, and was just puking stomach acid the rest of the night. He can't even keep water down. If we all get sick I have no idea how i'm going to deal. Normally I have a pretty tough stomach but today as I wa...

My little darling spitfire Miss M is 2 years old today. A little over two years ago in June/July 2010, we had just accepted 1-year-old Y, 2 year-old C, and 11 year-old D into our home.  We had never had children before.  I was staying home during the day with the little boys and was struggling mightily with C's enormous tantrums and everywhere I turned for help I got NONE.  Shortly after the boys were placed with us we heard that their bio mom was pregnant. I knew they'd ask us to take the baby. They have to; after all we had all the siblings and technically we had the room. Bio mom asked us to take the baby. The state asked us to take the baby. I begged my husband to take the baby.  She was due in November, but often had her babies early so September/October was looking like the more likely time for birth. In my heart I knew, I KNEW that I could not do it.  I was barely getting by trying to be a stay-at-home mom, keep up on my work for our business, etc...