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Pee, and stuff

Gross, I know. I'm sorry. I just have to get this out there.

This takes a lot of courage for me to write, but I am putting it out there because I think maybe other people struggle with these things too. And we should help each other, if we can.

We have a problem.  Our oldest daughter, who is nearly 7, has been peeing in her room for about the past year and a half (maybe more).

At first, when she started sleeping without diapers on at night, she would come out of her room seriously 20+ times to go to the bathroom. Every 5 minutes, at least. She'd go, pee a tablespoon, then go back in her room. Rinse, repeat.  Finally we put the kabosh on that and said look, it's OK to come out of your room at night, but, like, after you go to sleep. I mean how to you explain to a child who can't tell time when it is OK to come out of her room to go pee? She was staying up til well after 10 p.m. and then being super crabby the next day because she was getting no sleep! So, I'm not su…

New addition

There was a court hearing on July 26, and we got custody of Peanut. His bio mom didn't show up to court, so even though we came to court it was over in only a couple minutes and we didn't even set foot in the courtroom.

He moved in this past weekend.  It was a mad frenzy of moving furniture, selling stuff on Craigslist to make room, cleaning, etc.  Hubby's parents have approximately 30+ outfits for him - I have never seen a kid with so many clothes! Seriously!  We barely have room for it all!  :p  So far it has been smooth sailing.  He is such a sweetheart, and all of the kids were totally thrilled to welcome him into the crew.

Assuming his bio mom confirms the visit, we are taking him to a visit tomorrow. The worker asked us to supervise but I just don't feel comfortable doing it, since we'd have our 5 other kids with us.  It's going to be at the mall, so we are going to take the other kids shoe shopping (the worker did find someone else to supervise so that&…

TPR, home studies, and other things

We found out that Peanut's TPR hearing is coming right up, on August 14.  Today would have been his dad's 45th birthday. I'm very sad for him, that he will not have any memories of his dad.

We are still waiting on our home study. They haven't gotten my fingerprints back yet. They've gotten hubby's back, and we got fingerprinted on the same day. This makes no sense but we are talking about the government here, it doesn't have to make sense!

We also started going to family therapy. Our therapist is really awesome. Whenever D was in therapy it was just him and the therapist talking; I had to beg borrow and steal to get any information at all it seemed.  This therapist is really focused on building our relationship with our kids, and I'm very happy about that! The kids actually have little to no one-on-one time with her; sessions always have me or hubby present along with the kiddo. Nothing too strange or crazy is going on, I just feel like with the re-app…

Weekend trip

This weekend we went to visit hubby's mom's family to celebrate her brother's (I think?) 50th wedding anniversary. It was a surprise!  We left Saturday, drove the 5-ish hours, went to the thing (which was at a park), then went to the hotel and crashed.

Sunday morning we were woken by Miss Claire saying oh-so-sweetly from her crib "Hi, Ben!"  We were (all 7 of us) in a single hotel room. It was a really nice one, but falling asleep was a little hard.  Anyway. Sunday, we went to an amusement park!  The kids all had a good time. Claire finally, after 3 days of no naps, took a nap in the stroller which was very much needed. We got home that night at nearly 11 p.m.  Claire, Ben, and Miss M all fell asleep in the car on the way home and started SCREAMING hysterically once we arrived home and they had to wake up and go inside.  Ah, the joy of being up late too many nights in a row!

I got Claire's diaper changed, and she refused to let me change her clothes so she s…

Moving so fast!

As is sometimes typical with foster care, it seemed we were waiting...waiting...waiting...and waiting. And nothing was happening.

Then suddenly things are happening fast, and we're trying to figure out what the heck is going on!

Last week the state called to set up a time for us to do a homestudy. We are in a different state from Peanut, but within a 30 minute drive. However, those state lines are a huge pain in the butt!

We had our homestudy (part 1, anyway) scheduled for today.  Yesterday, we got a text from hubby's mom (Peanut's current foster placement) that the caseworker told her the next court date will be a TPR hearing. Bio mom didn't show up to her court date last week, which isn't surprising since the Department has no way to get ahold of her.  He also said she has had this happen with other children as well, which I was not aware of. I knew she had other kids, but wasn't sure what their story was.

The Adoptions and Safe Families Act requires that th…

May visit with bio mom (and Peanut update)

Well, this weekend we had our May visit with bio mom.  We had planned on Saturday morning at a park, but it rained all morning and was chilly so I asked if Sunday afternoon would be OK.  Can kids play in the rain and not die? Yes. Is it fun for 2 hours especially when it's chilly out? No!

We went to this park by her house, so she could walk there and not have to take the bus.  It was beautiful weather, and it was PACKED!  She said there have never been that many people there before when she has gone.  They have a lot to do there, including a splash pad. I didn't know about the splash pad so we didn't bring swimming suits or anything, but it was fine. There was a pond and a giant playground, and trees and grass...what more could you ask for?

There were for sure a few really tense moments.  At one point she asked if Y could take off his shoes and walk around the pond.  I don't really like the idea of the kids having their shoes off in a public park in not-so-great areas …

What happens when you meet your twin

I did meet my twin last weekend. OK so we aren't really twins (obviously!) but when I heard her story I was just blown away by the similarities to my own.

Our church has had a series of forums this year. One was about infertility, one was about divorce/widowhood, one was about adoption. I didn't make it to any of the other ones but I wanted to attend the adoption forum.

They had 3 panelists - one was adopted as a newborn, one was adopted by her father (bio father left her mother when she was 2) and has also adopted a child internationally, and one has adopted 3 children from foster care before having biological children.

The woman who adopted from foster care shared a story that was so similar to ours with D.  About living with a child who doesn't want to be adopted, who tells you he hates you, who says he'd rather live in JAIL than live with you.  Who tells you you will never be his mother, who does stupid things and makes poor choices.  Who acts angry all the time, …