Hypothetical
Let's say, hypothetically, that every night you set your wedding ring on the counter on the bathroom, far to the side where it won't accidentally get knocked anywhere. And let's also say that you don't put it back on until you've taken a shower in the morning. And let's say your 13 year old is supposed to clean the bathroom once a week. And he cleans the bathroom (which includes wiping down the counters, cleaning the sink, toilet, sweeping and mopping), and then after you take your shower your ring is not there.
So you ask him to look for it, and he cannot find it. And you look for it, and your husband looks for it, and it is no where to be found. You search for probably a good 30 minutes in every nook and cranny, and every possible place it could have been taken off just in case you deviated from your normal habit. So you ask him which trash he dumped the stuff into when he swept the floor...and he says he didn't dump it into a trash can, he dumped it into the toilet. And flushed it. And it has been flushed several times since then.
And let's say that you tend to try to have "logical" consequences...for example, if a child breaks something, then that is fine but he needs to pay to replace it, or if he argues with you and drains your energy then he has to replace it by doing some chores that you just can't do now that all your energy is sucked away, etc.
Let's say this ring cost upward of $2,000. His average income is somewhere around $7-10/week, depending on the chores he has done (and it could be about twice as high if he would do more!). Given that math, it would take at least 4-5 YEARS for him to pay for this. Without some serious effort on his part doing extra chores, at least.
Now, I know he didn't do this on purpose. And I am confident that he didn't steal it or anything like that. BUT. He has a habit of rushing through things and not paying attention to what he is doing. I would not be surprised one bit if it is down in the sewer system somewhere. I think we have determined that there is no way it could have fallen down the sink because the hole between the plug and the drain is not very big at all and it just couldn't have fit.
I got pretty close to bawling about my ring being gone. I mean it's my wedding ring, I'll only be married once and that was the ring! I will say that I am guilty of losing my husband's ring, it was dropped into a lake when he asked me to hold it and I was also wearing my swimsuit (no pockets!), taking care of the little kids (keeping them from drowning!) and holding the leash of two dogs. I'm not sure how it happened, I just know that with all the craziness it did get dropped at some point. I felt pretty bad about that, not gonna lie. I still feel bad about it. But it didn't cost nearly as much as my ring did!
So I don't know, I'm really torn somewhere between consequences and grace here. This is definitely going to take some thought. I wonder if our home owner's insurance would cover it, although I kind of doubt it. The frustrating thing is that I was trying to be nice by letting him clean the bathroom before I took a shower, so he could go and hang out with his friends or whatever and not have to wait for me to get done. If I would have taken a shower first this would have never happened.
Why couldn't he have lost, say, my favorite shirt or something?? That would be a much cheaper lesson!
So I guess we'll have to figure out what we are going to do. I'm open to suggestions here! :)
EDIT: We found it! We found it! Or should I say, my husband found it. Yeah...it was apparently in one of our living room chairs. I have no, and I mean NO, idea why I would have a) taken it off in the living room and b) not put it back on, and c) not put it somewhere safe. Blame it on the baby. Worst case of baby brain possibly ever! Now I have to go apologize to my son. :)
So you ask him to look for it, and he cannot find it. And you look for it, and your husband looks for it, and it is no where to be found. You search for probably a good 30 minutes in every nook and cranny, and every possible place it could have been taken off just in case you deviated from your normal habit. So you ask him which trash he dumped the stuff into when he swept the floor...and he says he didn't dump it into a trash can, he dumped it into the toilet. And flushed it. And it has been flushed several times since then.
And let's say that you tend to try to have "logical" consequences...for example, if a child breaks something, then that is fine but he needs to pay to replace it, or if he argues with you and drains your energy then he has to replace it by doing some chores that you just can't do now that all your energy is sucked away, etc.
Let's say this ring cost upward of $2,000. His average income is somewhere around $7-10/week, depending on the chores he has done (and it could be about twice as high if he would do more!). Given that math, it would take at least 4-5 YEARS for him to pay for this. Without some serious effort on his part doing extra chores, at least.
Now, I know he didn't do this on purpose. And I am confident that he didn't steal it or anything like that. BUT. He has a habit of rushing through things and not paying attention to what he is doing. I would not be surprised one bit if it is down in the sewer system somewhere. I think we have determined that there is no way it could have fallen down the sink because the hole between the plug and the drain is not very big at all and it just couldn't have fit.
I got pretty close to bawling about my ring being gone. I mean it's my wedding ring, I'll only be married once and that was the ring! I will say that I am guilty of losing my husband's ring, it was dropped into a lake when he asked me to hold it and I was also wearing my swimsuit (no pockets!), taking care of the little kids (keeping them from drowning!) and holding the leash of two dogs. I'm not sure how it happened, I just know that with all the craziness it did get dropped at some point. I felt pretty bad about that, not gonna lie. I still feel bad about it. But it didn't cost nearly as much as my ring did!
So I don't know, I'm really torn somewhere between consequences and grace here. This is definitely going to take some thought. I wonder if our home owner's insurance would cover it, although I kind of doubt it. The frustrating thing is that I was trying to be nice by letting him clean the bathroom before I took a shower, so he could go and hang out with his friends or whatever and not have to wait for me to get done. If I would have taken a shower first this would have never happened.
Why couldn't he have lost, say, my favorite shirt or something?? That would be a much cheaper lesson!
So I guess we'll have to figure out what we are going to do. I'm open to suggestions here! :)
EDIT: We found it! We found it! Or should I say, my husband found it. Yeah...it was apparently in one of our living room chairs. I have no, and I mean NO, idea why I would have a) taken it off in the living room and b) not put it back on, and c) not put it somewhere safe. Blame it on the baby. Worst case of baby brain possibly ever! Now I have to go apologize to my son. :)
So glad you found it!! I lost the diamond out of my ring once and was devastated!
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