Isolation

Yes this is my second blog of the day.

I think I might be starting to get a little bit depressed about this whole tantrum thing plus everything else going on right now. It's kind of like post-partum depression, only different. I mean it kind of makes sense. Somewhere I read that PPD can be caused or at least exacerbated by mother's inability to soothe their colicky/inconsolable infants. So I have a colicky/inconsolable toddler, obviously not the same situation but there are some similarities. And I feel like I don't have any support but really, what is anybody going to do? Staying home with them is kind of my job. He is too young for therapy, as I have been told over and over (and over) again.

I am considering putting him and the rest of the kids into part time daycare or something. I mean, this is nuts. I have no life, at all, I feel like many days I can't get everything done that needs to get done. I feel like the majority of people involved in this case, besides our Cedars worker who is totally awesome, think that I am over exaggerating or like making this crap up or something. I mean it's pretty bad when you can't even go to the grocery store to get 10 items without a 30 minutes extreme melt down. I don't even know what caused it.

I am pretty sure at this point he's getting enough sleep, so I don't think that is the problem. He has an appointment on the 14th to go to the doctor for his 3 year check up and I am going to have his thyroid levels checked too. I really hope it is the thyroid thing, because then at least he could get on some medicine that would help him and I could see that there is a reason for all of this nonsense.

I also might be PMS-ing so maybe that's why I am feeling so torn up right now about this. I think I am in serious need of some adult time. Hopefully I will feel better in a few days.

I am supposed to run 11 miles tomorrow and I am really, really looking forward to it. Looking forward to some alone time, looking forward to clearing my head a little bit, looking forward to feeling some burn which I know sounds nuts but it does feel good. I don't even know if I'm going to take my dog with me.

Comments

  1. *hugs*

    I really cannot imagine. I had an inconsolable infant- but a toddler is even more frustrating, I am guessing.

    If I may ask- what do you do during the tantrums? Like, what have you tried?

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  2. At first we were doing time outs - putting in his room until he was done screaming. He'd scream for 30 minutes or an hour, and that didn't seem very appropriate or right to me. So I talked to a therapist, and she suggested holding him.

    So then I started holding him, and that seemed to help. He would calm down very quickly, and within a few minutes could go back to playing or at least not screaming his face off.

    At this point, it doesn't seem to work any more. He will just scream in my ear when I hold him, but he will cling to me for dear life. He will just keep screaming, high pitched like nails on a chalkboard right in my face. And I feel like now he is old enough that he can express himself verbally and say what it is he wants or needs, and so I feel like time outs are appropriate. Normally I try to talk to him, though it doesn't help at all because once he starts, if he is really going strong the only thing that will help is going to sleep. He is stubborn as all get-out and will keep crying to get what he wants, which if he is having a tantrum about it I don't give in to him.

    So here is what happened today at the grocery store - we got out of the car, began walking inside. All of the sudden he just started crying. I said "C, what's wrong?" and he just kept crying. He tried to let go of my hand, and I did not let him as we were in the parking lot and he is only 2! Then I bent down and got on his eye level and said we need to get into the store (we were literally like 20 feet away). More screaming, getting more intense. Then I said "C, I was hoping we could go in the store and get in to one of the car carts!" More screaming, threw himself on the ground. Complete refusal to walk. I sat there for a minute with him, tried to get him to walk and he was letting me drag him. Then picked him up and went in the store. Magically once we got in he was fine, "I wanna ride in the car!" I was super frustrated at this point and said no, because he had a tantrum we weren't going to do that and I asked him if he wanted to ride in the cart or if he wanted to walk. Screaming, bitter and loud screaming. People staring. So I just put him in the cart and pushed him back out to the car. I tried to be as calm as possible but once we got in the car I did start crying. But I didn't yell at him or anything, I felt like I did a good job of staying fairly calm. I don't know if I did the right thing or not, I just feel like I totally do NOT want to reward his tantrums in any way what so ever.

    Then when we got home he took a 4 hour nap. He also took a 4 hour nap yesterday. I am thinking of trying to wake him up after 2 hours of napping so he can sleep more at night...it has gotten to the point where he is keeping Y up at night (they share a room) and waking him up in the morning, and it is kind of ridiculous really!

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  3. wow. my little "monster" :) isn't as bad as yours but I had to hire a baby sitter 2 days a week so i didn't have to disrupt our placement of her. i just couldn't do it every day by myself. my vote is daycare :)

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