Obnoxious
I've posted before about how the C-monster has almost the exact opposite personality as I do. He is definitely an extrovert, far and away the opposite side of the introvert/extrovert continuum from me.
We had a bit of a difficult time with him during the weekend. It is so hard to not be irritated with him. His voice is naturally LOUD, he is either whispering or practically yelling. He has no "quiet" voice, despite our repeated attempts to teach it. He wants to sit on my lap, but then he wiggles and digs his bony little bootie into my legs, or digs his elbows into my ribs, or throws his 35-pound self off my lap expecting me to catch him and keep him from landing head first on the ground, or pulls my hair while trying to make it "pretty". (I do let all 3 of the boys play with my hair as they are fascinated with it, but the other two are at least gentle!) He can't be quiet for more than 1 minute, it's just not possible for him unless the TV is on in which case he sits like a zombie in front of it and then he screams when it gets turned off (this is why the littles do not watch much TV here!).
All this to say, we needed an extra dose of empathy this weekend. It is something that I am having to look for and "fake it till I make it", especially with him who is disciplined so frequently. Sometimes I am still not very good at providing empathy, especially when it seems like something is happening for the thousandth time and seriously, why hasn't he learned his lesson yet???? And we told him what was going to happen, and yet he still screams his face off when the consequence does in fact happen! I think he had permanent salt trails down his cheeks from all his crying this weekend.
But I still love him! He amazes me every day with his observations, with how he is growing up and becoming a big boy, with his ability to draw conclusions and learn new things. And I do see progress, considering when he first moved in he had screaming crying tantrums for an hour or more every single day, his occasional 10-minute scream fests now are NOTHING compared to that. And seriously, he is the handsomest 4 year old you will ever see. Not that I'm biased or anything.
Empathy - a work in progress! :)
We had a bit of a difficult time with him during the weekend. It is so hard to not be irritated with him. His voice is naturally LOUD, he is either whispering or practically yelling. He has no "quiet" voice, despite our repeated attempts to teach it. He wants to sit on my lap, but then he wiggles and digs his bony little bootie into my legs, or digs his elbows into my ribs, or throws his 35-pound self off my lap expecting me to catch him and keep him from landing head first on the ground, or pulls my hair while trying to make it "pretty". (I do let all 3 of the boys play with my hair as they are fascinated with it, but the other two are at least gentle!) He can't be quiet for more than 1 minute, it's just not possible for him unless the TV is on in which case he sits like a zombie in front of it and then he screams when it gets turned off (this is why the littles do not watch much TV here!).
All this to say, we needed an extra dose of empathy this weekend. It is something that I am having to look for and "fake it till I make it", especially with him who is disciplined so frequently. Sometimes I am still not very good at providing empathy, especially when it seems like something is happening for the thousandth time and seriously, why hasn't he learned his lesson yet???? And we told him what was going to happen, and yet he still screams his face off when the consequence does in fact happen! I think he had permanent salt trails down his cheeks from all his crying this weekend.
But I still love him! He amazes me every day with his observations, with how he is growing up and becoming a big boy, with his ability to draw conclusions and learn new things. And I do see progress, considering when he first moved in he had screaming crying tantrums for an hour or more every single day, his occasional 10-minute scream fests now are NOTHING compared to that. And seriously, he is the handsomest 4 year old you will ever see. Not that I'm biased or anything.
Empathy - a work in progress! :)
Oh I can so relate!! You put it so well. Sometimes I too wonder when X will "get it" and when he will stop screaming when he gets consequences for the same thing over and over. Empathy IS hard sometimes.
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