My uncle

My Dad's brother passed away yesterday. We didn't really have a relationship. He made a lot of very sad choices in his life, which made it difficult for me both as a child and as an adult to want to be close with him. I remember when I was little I was scared of him. He was always nice enough, to me at least, and I don't know that I had a tangible reason for being afraid, but I was. That has carried over into my adulthood, this kind of unnamed fear that I had in my heart.

My Dad called to let me know that my uncle did not have very much time to live, and I was sad not because of our relationship but because he had chosen to waste his life. I was also a little bit mad. I don't know what kind of demons he was facing, but to me it seemed that he was fighting them off with alcohol and drugs. I talked to my husband a little bit about it, in front of D. I wanted D to hear, really, because nobody wants to be 54 years old with no kids, no wife, bleeding and so sick that the doctors don't even know what is wrong with you because you have abused your body so much.

D's first response was "Well, some people think that kind of thing (drinking and drugs) is fun!" We talked a little bit about it, that it messes up your body. He was 54 years old, that is young for a lot of people! He could have lived maybe another lifetime, if it was God's will.

It is a sad day, but I hope that my uncle's life and his death will not be wasted. I pray that my children will have the ability to look at him and see not some far-off possible consequence for poor choices, but see a very real example of what their lives could become if they begin making sad choices. He was my uncle, my father's brother, and I am so thankful that my own father is a man that I can hold up as an example of how to live your life, instead of how NOT to live your life.

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