The little boy's therapist
She called me back today. I am pretty sure that is a record for people involved in this case - getting a call back within 24 hours, I mean. Rock on! So pretty much she is already on my good side.
She seems pretty awesome and pretty down to earth. It sounds like with C she is working with mom on helping her stick to her guns (i.e., no means no, rather than no means no...unless you scream enough, and then you get what you want!).
She said first she will have mom do time outs with C and leaving him in time out until he stops crying. This could get interesting, because sometimes it takes a really long time. It sounds like she thinks he's doing it for attention and to get what he wants. Also she wants to help him to be able to verbalize his feelings. She said once he is crying for less time in time out, then time outs will not be started until he is quiet.
I asked her to call me and let me know when they move on to the next step with bio mom, and she said "Oh, I was thinking of just calling you every few weeks to check in and see how things are going and let you know what we are doing with mom, is that OK?" Heck yes, that's ok! Wooty woot!
So we will start this new plan tonight once they get back from their visit. We have done it a few times (letting him cry in time out until he is done), but not really stuck to it. I mean we do put him consistently in time out, and he stays there for at least three minutes, and we absolutely do not give in to his screaming. I feel bad leaving him in for longer because of all the stuff you read about kids and attachment and all of that...I mean, for everything you read on line on how to deal with X behavior, you can always find someone with a differing opinion talking about how whatever you do is going to damage your child FOREVER and possibly turn them into a serial killer.
At this point I am honestly very, very thankful to have somebody tell me what we ought to be doing. And to have somebody that listens to me - she spent 20 minutes on the phone with me which is HUGE for the foster care system. It seems like most people just get you off the phone as soon as possible so they can move on to the other things on their to-do list.
Also C is finally being moved up to a level 2. I guess they decided with all of the hitting, kicking, screaming, etc. that he is doing that he is actually not your average three year old. Who knew? ;) Again, it is affirming and makes me feel a little better about this whole thing.
Oh and bio mom wants me to change Y and D's doctor so that it is the same person as C's new doctor. Isn't that crazy?? I mean I'm glad, but for all the back and forth fighting about it when I changed C's doctor I certainly didn't think she would want the same doctor for the other boys too!
She seems pretty awesome and pretty down to earth. It sounds like with C she is working with mom on helping her stick to her guns (i.e., no means no, rather than no means no...unless you scream enough, and then you get what you want!).
She said first she will have mom do time outs with C and leaving him in time out until he stops crying. This could get interesting, because sometimes it takes a really long time. It sounds like she thinks he's doing it for attention and to get what he wants. Also she wants to help him to be able to verbalize his feelings. She said once he is crying for less time in time out, then time outs will not be started until he is quiet.
I asked her to call me and let me know when they move on to the next step with bio mom, and she said "Oh, I was thinking of just calling you every few weeks to check in and see how things are going and let you know what we are doing with mom, is that OK?" Heck yes, that's ok! Wooty woot!
So we will start this new plan tonight once they get back from their visit. We have done it a few times (letting him cry in time out until he is done), but not really stuck to it. I mean we do put him consistently in time out, and he stays there for at least three minutes, and we absolutely do not give in to his screaming. I feel bad leaving him in for longer because of all the stuff you read about kids and attachment and all of that...I mean, for everything you read on line on how to deal with X behavior, you can always find someone with a differing opinion talking about how whatever you do is going to damage your child FOREVER and possibly turn them into a serial killer.
At this point I am honestly very, very thankful to have somebody tell me what we ought to be doing. And to have somebody that listens to me - she spent 20 minutes on the phone with me which is HUGE for the foster care system. It seems like most people just get you off the phone as soon as possible so they can move on to the other things on their to-do list.
Also C is finally being moved up to a level 2. I guess they decided with all of the hitting, kicking, screaming, etc. that he is doing that he is actually not your average three year old. Who knew? ;) Again, it is affirming and makes me feel a little better about this whole thing.
Oh and bio mom wants me to change Y and D's doctor so that it is the same person as C's new doctor. Isn't that crazy?? I mean I'm glad, but for all the back and forth fighting about it when I changed C's doctor I certainly didn't think she would want the same doctor for the other boys too!
It's the little things like being called back or just talking at length about the kid in care that makes all the difference. I'm glad to hear all the good things about the new therapist.
ReplyDeleteOur 2 year old has tantrums too. He "cries" and puts his head down on his crossed arms on the floor. When you ask him, "You want time out?" He immediately stops and goes on to do whatever he was doing before. The crying works with mom, works with grandparents but he's slowly stopping it with us because he knows it doesn't work. We tell him that if he wants something he has to TELL us. In words.
Thank goodness we haven't had to deal with the kicking and hitting (yet), just that he bites his own hand when he gets frustrated. We know from experience that if you ignore the tantrum it will lessen. I just hope this one learns it as quickly as the last one.
Glad to hear she seems to understand the "team" and hopefully will take the time to keep everyone on the same page!
ReplyDelete