Birthday, anniversary, and the usual

Apparently I didn't blog it - but the 18th was Y's birthday! He turned TWO YEARS OLD and has had both of his birthdays while living at our house in foster care. Kind of strange, isn't it?

He is such a different kid than he was back then! He has gained 7 pounds, gone from wearing 6-9 month size clothes to wearing size 2T. His feet have grown from a size 4 to a size 6. He has gone from being a solemn-faced boy to being a smiley, laughing boy with a great sense of humor. He likes to tease me and annoy his big brother, can talk in sentences of 2-3 words, know LOTS of words, and is just a wonderful cuddly boy. He loves to "sing" and it is a joy to watch him being so happy and content. He likes to put his pants and his shoes on by himself and wants to be as independent as possible. When he first moved in he could walk but still mostly crawled; now he can walk and run better than his big brother. I love him so much and it is amazing to think of how much he has grown in the past year!

The kids have been in foster care a total of 15 months and counting.

The 15th was our one-year anniversary of D and Y getting placed with us (C was placed with us July 1). I can't even put into words the changes that I have undergone as a human being and the leaps and bounds that I feel like I have grown. I don't want to speak for my husband but he has grown too; he is a different man than the one that was here a year ago! Different in a good way of course. :) I never knew how hard this would be or how frustrated I would get, both with the kids and with the system that is supposed to be protecting them.

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The little ones' bio dad canceled his visit this morning, but called the SC to tell her...and she didn't check her voicemail until noon. So the kids all got picked up early for the visit, only to go and have dad not be there. Lovely, as usual. This is after the dad wrote a two page rant in M's notebook last week about how he has a good reason for all the visits that have been canceled and that he has cut short, and how he is a good dad and his kids love him and how dare we consider suspending his visits! Good job bio dad! You sure showed us!!!!

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Today D and I had this conversation:

D: "You look like you are about to go for a run!"
Me: "...Thanks?"
D: "You are supposed to say 'I am going to go for a run later' or something like that.'"

This is why I am socially awkward and he is a social butterfly. Obviously I need more lessons from him. :) By the way, the ratio of my words to his words in the exchange above is pretty reflective of the time we spend together. That kid loves to talk!

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I guess on the visit on Saturday bio mom allowed D to call his bio dad (different from the little ones' bio dad). This is a man that has had zero part in this case. When I have asked the caseworker if D could talk to him, they said not until they talk to him because of his "history". I don't really know what that means. So basically bio mom did not ask permission or anything, she just let D call him. I don't know this man from Adam and I don't want to judge, but this just frustrates me. The man makes me so mad. D idolizes him, and this "dad" has zero part in D's life and from what it appears to me does not give a crap what happens to this poor child. D has half-siblings on his dad's side that he doesn't really know and doesn't have a chance to have a relationship with as a result of his dad's stupidity. It is just frustrating.

Anyway I emailed the SC about this and asked if D can talk to his bio dad now, and she said "I didn't think D wanted to have a relationship with his dad". Sorry, what?? Why did you think that? She has been on this case since March I believe and has seen the kids...one time? I have no idea what gave her the impression that D did not want to pursue this because that is WRONG. If bio dad doesn't want to pursue it or whatever then that's his deal, but it is not right for the state to just let this slide because they are too busy to do the extra work required in setting up visits or whatever they determine is the best way to do this. We'll see what happens but I'm guessing it will be NOTHING.

I have more to say but I am going to stop now. :)

Comments

  1. They have come a long way in the past year. You guys have worked hard to try to make all of that happen. I hope D is able to have a relationship with his dad, but it could also be a source of great disappointment and hurt for him. That father-son relationship is so important.

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