Natural Consequences

Saturday, C came home from the visit with a cell phone in hand. We didn't really think anything of it - the bio family goes through cell phones like water it seems, and is always giving the boys their old cell phones (batteries removed) for them to play with.

C announced "My mommy gave me this phone!" D looked at it and said "Uh, no she didn't." Apparently, it was her actual, working phone that C had brought home from the visit.

D tried to call a few people to tell them (his aunt and one of his mom's friends). He also has his own phone that is kept at his mom's house, but apparently she gave that to somebody to use, so he couldn't call it to talk to her. Then yesterday, bio mom called the transport company to ask them about the phone, and also called my husband's work number to ask him about it (she had to leave a message). We told the transport company we'd drop the phone off on the way to take D to school in the morning, or else send it on the visit this afternoon.

So anyway, then at like 8:30 p.m. last night she called my cell phone, frantic that she needed her phone because it was her alarm clock and she had to wake up at 7:00 in the morning (for what? no idea, since she doesn't have a job). She wanted to know if we could meet her somewhere to get it to her. I wanted to be gracious, but at the same time it is not our fault that she decided to give her phone to her 4 year old and lost track of it. I know for myself, if the boys are playing with my phone (which rarely happens) you can bet your buttons I'm sitting right there and making sure they don't do something like stick it in their pocket, dunk it in the toilet, throw it down the stairs, or any number of things that might seem fun to them but would clearly be terrible for the phone.

As I said she was frantic. Not sure why she couldn't just, say, go to WalMart and pick up a $7 alarm clock, or spend the night at her friend's house and use their phone, or think of any other possible way to wake up in the morning besides us having to leave our home during a storm to bring her cell phone to her.

I put bio mom on mute and asked my husband what we should do. Sometimes, especially with bio mom, he tends to be more merciful than I do and I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being overly mean. I did say "I don't feel like this is our problem." D was sitting right there and he said "Just tell her you'll give it to her tomorrow."

Whaaatttt? Normally D would get irritated and say something like "Why can't you guys just give it to her? Gosh!" And he would be mad at us. My husband and I were both shocked that he had that reaction.

So maybe all this work of enforcing natural consequences with the boys is working? I don't know! It is encouraging though and I think it shows a lot of maturity on D's part. :) Oh, and as for bio mom's phone, it is being dropped off this morning at her house on the way to take D to school. My husband graciously told bio mom he would knock on the door to try to wake her up, at 7:40. :)


  1. Your husband is definitely more gracious then I. I'm probably more like you on that one. It's great to see D showing growth.


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