I think D's birthday party went really, really well. We picked up him and one of his friends from school. Then the kids came home and made hand-print stepping stones for mother's day (just our kids, not D's friends). It was my idea but D said it was a good idea, so he did his own and then I helped the little kids do one. I should have had them do it yesterday but I just wasn't thinking. Miss M was NOT impressed at all with putting her hand in the cement, she grabbed it with her fist and then started screaming and brushing her hands together, flinging cement everywhere in the kitchen. Whoops! I repaired her print as best as I could and though it's not perfect, it was made by the kids and that is most important I think. They decorated them with glass rocks and stuff and they look really nice I think.

Anyway. I spent the day getting ready for the party - I bought GOBS of food, including a birthday cake (which I usually make but just didn't have the time). I bought all D's favorite junk food which we typically don't keep in the house...I'll admit, I was feeling some guilt and I just wanted him to have a really good party. I cleaned up the patio, cleaned up the yard, got out some of our yard games and set them up. My husband grilled us up some burgers and brats (yay no cooking for me). He joined the boys playing badminton and hang your balls on a fence and also the boys shot D's new air rifle thing. I'm sure it has a technical name. It shoots those little rubber beads. Anyway, then they came in and played computer games. And then they went out and slept in the tent, staying up until (according to one boy) 4:30 a.m. YIKES. But they were quiet and I didn't hear them at all. They other boys that were over were boys from the neighborhood, and D's friend from school is actually from Africa and he seems like a pretty nice kid. C kept calling him "That big black guy!" which I think is kind of hilarious since C is actually black too (duh!). I hope that he and D can maintain a relationship even when D changes schools...I really want D to have some black friends. I know that's probably stupid but I just really do.

Anyway this morning they are off at a fun center riding go karts and playing mini golf and such.

It struck me how easy it was to have children of that age. All I did was provide food and some entertainment. They entertained themselves, dressed themselves, helped themselves to the food, cleaned up after themselves for the most part. D was happy and I was happy to see him happy. Now of course they were only here for a while, and I didn't have the job of, say, getting them to and from sporting events and practices, getting them to do their homework, doing chores, etc. But I'm pretty sure if we had 2 or 3 kids that age I could get away with doing basically nothing around the house. ;) It will be nice when the littles get older and can help more!

Also, completely random, but today I read this and it touched my heart. I just feel like I have room for more kids. I'm serious. It is really silly because Miss M is not even transitioned here yet, so technically we have "one on the way" but I just feel like there is more to do. We could maybe accommodate one more child after her in this house but that's it. Maybe that just means being more open to having kids over, making our house a fun place for kids to come and just to be cared for and loved on. Even if they are not "our" kids.

So today is the day of the last visit I guess. I haven't told the little boys. Not real sure what to tell them, also not sure what their mom is planning to tell them so I guess we'll just try to field any questions when they get home and in the coming weeks/months/years. She bought them some stuffed animals yesterday which they wanted to sleep with last night, and I hope to always keep them. I've just been thinking about how when they are older they will want things from her, pictures of her, just any pieces of their past to hold on to. I'm not sure what our relationship will be going forward or if she will choose to have one with us. I just want to be prepared and I feel like I'm not. I don't have any baby pictures of the boys except for D (our agency worker found some pics of him with his mom when he was a baby and involved in some kind of a program, I forget what it was). The youngest I have of Y is 12 months and the youngest of C is when he was 2. I do have a few pictures of their mom with them from a few months ago. So that will be nice to have. At least Miss M will have a completely documented babyhood.

Bio mom is not happy with the visitation agreement and it sounds like she will opt to just not see the kids. I am sad for them.


  1. Wow! How selfish! I just can't believe that. So because she can't have her way it's nothing. She's really thinking of her kids isn't she.


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