Update on visits

OK I am still not 100% sure what has happened with visits or why this big push all of a sudden to change something.

But I got a call today that they are being changed, so that they will be less frequently for longer periods of time.

So that means...

T: 3:15 - 7:15
Th: 3:15 - 7:15
Sa: 3:00 - 7:00

Instead of 6 days a week for two hours each day. Hallelujah! And I do mean that. First of all, it is more overall visitation (12 hours a week instead of 10.5 hours a week, since D and C didn't go on the Friday visits). Second of all, the visits are longer which means:
a. more time to get stuff done, and I can actually DO stuff instead of rushing around like a mad woman during the 2-hour visits);
b. time where DH and I can actually go out to eat, or just spend time together, instead of having the kids getting home at 5:45 which is just when he's finishing up his work day, they won't get home until 7:45 or so which is great;
c. we get to have more "family" time with all of us (dinners together more frequently, having a better schedule for D when he gets home from school instead of going straight to visits, etc.);
d. it gives bio mom the opportunity to parents for longer periods of time (four consecutive hours of parenting is much more realistic than 2 hours of parenting, IMHO);
e. we can actually plan things. Over the summer it was so difficult to do anything because we always had to be back in the afternoon (or mornings) for the kids to go on a visit, even though D was out of school. Now if he has Monday or Friday off of school we can plan a little vacation, go visit family, or just do whatever and not have to worry about making sure to be back home by a certain time.

The visits are still going to be supervised, meaning a worker will be there the entire time. So the kids won't go on a visit tomorrow, and then Thursday their new schedule will start.

Another sweet thing is that I am training for a marathon, and my days that I have scheduled to run are Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Saturdays. So if visits are on three out of four of those days, that means that I don't have to get up early to run at o'dark thirty in the morning and freeze my buns off; I can run in the afternoon when it is light outside and warmer and still have time to come home, shower, and cook dinner and do whatever else to boot! Suh-weet. I'll still have to get up early on Wednesdays but hey, it happens. I realize my running convenience is totally incidental in this but it is still kinda nice for me. :)

And I also realize that our scheduling is really low on the priority list. But just because we are foster parents doesn't mean we want to give up the rest of our lives too. We still want to be able to visit our families, and since DH has a flexible work schedule sometimes it would be nice to go and do things after D gets out of school. Which to some extent we are still limited because I am watching the baby, but if something comes up I can always ask her foster mom if we can drop her off at her work or whatever.

The bad thing is that I will have to cook dinner WAY more often, and that three nights a week I will be cooking dinner whilst juggling four children (three of which are under the age of three!). When you are feeding an 11-year-old boy there are rarely leftovers, but maybe I just need to double up on recipes so that there ARE leftovers! :) We will see how that goes. I am thinking that make-ahead meals are going to become my friend, although I can't say as I've been real impressed with several of the ones I've tried so far. I'll just have to try, try again!

The other bad thing is that the little boys have been going to bed at 7:30, so it is kind of late for them to be out and about. That wouldn't be SUCH a big deal if I knew they weren't going to be eating candy and junk and maybe having some "side effects" from that. Hopefully the bio family will be cognizant of their needs, and their need to be able to go to bed when they get home instead of being on a sugar high.

Anyway I am overall happy with the new schedule and am excited to see how this goes. I am really cheering for bio mom here and I hope she does well with the kiddos for longer periods of time!


  1. This seems like it will be MUCH better for all of you! :) So happy for you guys!


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