On missed visits

Welp, bio mom did not show for her visit today. The worker came and picked up the kids, took them to her house, and waited for 15 minutes...but she never came. They couldn't reach her by phone, either.

C got back here and cried pretty much non-stop until I put him to bed at 12:30 for a nap (a VERY EARLY nap). I feel so, so badly for him. I held him for probably 20 minutes and he wanted me to keep holding him but I just can't hold him 24/7 when I have a baby to take care of too and plus it's lunch time. I sent an email to our case worker because it just really ticks me off that the mom would just not show up. I think C is really confused and sad and has no idea what the heck is going on with his life and I don't know that I can even explain it to him, or that anyone could for that matter. He's just a little kid. UGH.

Speaking of UGH, bio mom asked me yesterday via our notebook if I can "make sure to put shorts or pants on Y." I sent him on his visit in a onesie. Honestly, he LIVES in onesie's here. Changing his diaper is a huge pain already, and pants just make it that much more difficult (getting a kicking screaming 13-month-old to put his legs into his pants in the correct hole is more challenging than it sounds). He has exactly two pairs of jean shorts, the rest of his shorts have matching shirts and are part of outfits. Which is fine...I just don't normally do the 2-piece thing unless I'm feeling froggy that day. And of course we JUST went to the Foster Care Closet and got him some new clothes...and I did not get him any shorts because, well, I don't think personally that he needs any more! So now I guess I can either

a) send him on his visits in a onesie and shorts that may or may not actually match (I'm sure she will criticize that also!)
b) let him wear a pair of C's 18-month size shorts, which are definitely too big but would match
c) dress him in 2-piece outfits so that I can fight with him when I change his diaper 5+ times per day (I'm confident she does not care about this because let's face it, she may change his diaper 5 times a WEEK, and that's assuming she makes all her visits!)
d) go spend money on some shorts or
e) put him in a onesie here, then change his clothes for his visit, then change him back when he gets home.

None of these sound appealing at all to me. They all equal MORE WORK (for me only, not for her!). It's super irritating. Really, you care what your kid wears but you aren't going to show up to visits? Or even bother to call and cancel?

I want to be graceful about this. I really do. But it is HARD. I never realized how hard it would be. I think I always assumed that most parents are going to do anything they can to get their kids back. I mean let's face it, if you're making poor choices and screwing up, I would think that getting your kids taken away would be, like, rock bottom. Like the time when you look at yourself in the mirror and think "I have got to change, I can't keep doing this." I don't know. I guess I've never been there before so what do I know.

In other news, I am the proud new owner of a baby monitor. That's right, we lived without one up until a few days ago. I <3 it! I was able to get Y up and out of bed this morning before he woke C up, and now they are both sleeping in the same room and once I start hearing noises I can go in and grab whichever one it is and hopefully the other will keep sleeping. Oh and I also got some darker window coverings for the little boys' room. It is almost pitch black in there, which I am hoping will help with nap times and with C when he goes to bed and it's still light out. So anyway...yay. :)

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