Childless!

No, they did not go to a new foster home. They are at respite for the night! In case you don't know, respite is basically like baby-sitting, only it can be for several days at a time. Folks sign up and get background checks so they can be approved to provide respite care. We actually did respite care for a while before we decided to take the leap and become foster parents. We have some friends that are approved, so they agreed to watch the boys for us tonight. So anyway...we are kid-free for the night and for most of the day tomorrow. It's exciting! Kind of sad though. The house is so quiet! Of course it would normally be quiet at 10:40 p.m. on any night, but you know what I mean!

Husband and I went on a date tonight. It was quite lovely. Want to know what we talked about? The kids! Isn't that so funny? I was just thinking, these kids might not be with us in a year. It's so strange to think about that. But my husband also pointed out, they might still be with us when the babies graduate from high school! If they do become available for adoption we will adopt them. So, you just never know.

I have started a log of C's tantrums. I'm going to keep track of how many he has per day, and see if there is any kind of a pattern that I can distinguish. If I was super organized I would keep a log by time of day, but I think that may be asking a little too much of myself right now. I am interested to find out if his tantrums correlate at all to his visits with his mom; i.e. if he has more on days when he does or does not see her. I will say the past 2 days have been a lot better; only 2 tantrums today (no visit with mom!) and only a handful yesterday too (a shortened visit with mom). But at his mom's house he is doing things like throwing his food on the floor and stuff, which he has never done here. I wish the little guy could talk about his feelings. I'd love to know what is going on in that head of his. If he was older I'd request that he get therapy. At this point I don't really know if he can though.

I'm still thinking about that baby that is supposed to be born in November. I honestly want to take it, but I don't know if I/we are capable of doing an effective job of parenting three young children when the oldest is 2 1/2, plus the 11 year old. I've never done a "baby" baby before. I feel badly about the possibility of having to split up the kids, though honestly I think D is the only one that will know/care what is going on. He talks big talk about he doesn't want a baby girl (I DO want a baby girl, FYI!) but I think if it came down to it he would rather that she live here than somewhere else.

I really wish we knew someone that was a good friend of ours that could take the baby, then we could all hang out as extended family and stuff like that. I just don't know what to do at all. If we took the baby, C would have to move in to D's room and we'd probably get them bunk beds...then we'd have an 11 year old sharing a room with a 2 year old, and the babies could share a room...but I'm envisioning the new baby waking at all hours and waking up the other baby...it would be terrible. Of course the baby could sleep in our room for the first while, but honestly there is just not a lot of room in our room. Plus if she DID sleep in our room it would mess up Brian's sleep. Of course he is normally up half the night anyway so maybe that would work out; he could handle the midnight feedings then I could be on duty from midnight going forward! ;) Just kidding Brian! Anyway...if I had done this before it would be a much easier decision to make. I'd like to just try it out and see how it goes, say, for a week or two or three, however long it takes to get kind of acclimated. If she is born in November, that is normally our slowest month for the business so that would be perfect timing. But then of course there is the whole attachment issue, and if we decided we couldn't do it ...bleh. I should probably not think about it anymore right now.

The End. :)

Comments

  1. Levi lived in our room until he was down to one night-time feeding. As you know, our room is tiny tiny. We just had a bassinet next to the bed. Way easier to tend to him when I don't have to hobble into his room in a half-stupor.

    I'm not you, but I think you could totally pull this off. Maybe not with the grace and style that you'd like, but I think you two would be great newborn-parents. The sleeplessness isn't as bad as it sounds, and you kind of get used to it after a while. No kidding.

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