Overnights part twwooo

Welp, D and M both got granted additional overnight visits. So starting next week D will be gone on both Friday AND Saturday nights. I'm a little nervous about it, more from a behavior aspect than anything else. Right now he gets here and has a decent bedtime on Saturday night, sleeps in on Sunday morning and then is OK to go to school on Monday. If he has two late nights and early mornings in a row, Mondays might be kind of difficult for him!

I guess D has been giving his bio mom a really hard time which stinks. Her life is already pretty difficult and he is making it harder than it needs to be, especially now when she is trying to do the right things to get her kids back. I don't really know how to support her or if she even wants support from us. I suggested that she read Love and Logic, but I don't know if she would be interested in doing that or not.

The caseworker said she will wait on starting overnights for the two little boys because of their behaviors. C has been much better overall but he can still throw a looong tantrum with the best of them. We had the pleasure of one tonight, in fact! The caseworker has finally started trying to find some individual therapy for him so that's exciting. Part of the problem I feel like is my lack of knowledge on what a normal 3 year old is. Like, does every three year old have 30 minute tantrums over random things, such as not getting Hot Cheetos? I just don't know! He has also been getting worse about lying. I hate that more than anything and sometimes makes me feel like we are doing something really wrong.

Sometimes I feel like some of the social problems are caused by being at daycare around so many different kids, and they are all learning stupid things from each other like how to talk incorrectly ("Why they are doing that?" instead of "Why are they doing that?"), bad words, possibly how to tell lies, etc. So then I blame myself because I simply cannot be super foster mom and keep them home with me. It MIGHT be possible now, since their mom actually has all her visits and isn't cancelling them. But with the goal of them returning home and the fact that this will probably happen, I just don't see the point in disrupting their routine even more.

But anyway, hopefully I will get a chance to talk about this with the therapist and get some ideas on what to do. I think we've made a lot of progress but just feel there is so much further to go.

Comments

  1. StacyOctober 23, 2011 at 7:13 AM

    Wow, that is a big change! And yes, 3 year olds are the worst tantrum throwers. My bio son who is 3 regularly throws tantrums about his underwear, socks, clothes, b/c he wants them all to have spiderman on them! Hang in there : )

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  2. CarlyOctober 23, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    My experience is that "normal" 3 year olds will throw a 30 minute tantrum if they think (or know) that eventually the adult will give in. That said, I know some non-nuerotypical (even adhd) kids who will throw a tantrum because they are unable to communicate their needs in a more effective way. sigh, so many grey areas and fine lines.

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