Guess what?

My little boys started bonding therapy this week with their mom.

Guess what else?


That's right. They are getting picked up early from daycare (one gets picked up early Tuesdays, the other gets picked up early Wednesdays) and taken to their own one-on-one therapy session with bio mom before the rest of the kids show up for the visit later in the afternoon.

I can not believe no one told me.

The only way I found out was by asking the GAL if/when they would start therapy, to which she replied "I think it is this week, but you will have to ask the service coordinator". So I did, and she responded that yes, they started this week.

My response back to her was..well, I'll just let you see it.

Is there any reason I was not informed of this ahead of time? I feel like I am extremely out of the loop, and am not notified of things until the last minute. I do want to be involved, and I do want to know what is going on. I know these aren't my children but I have been caring for them for almost an entire year, and up until a month ago I was caring for them 24/7 as they stayed with me during the day and did not attend daycare at all. I feel like, as their primary caregiver, I am a valuable part of the team but it is difficult for me to contribute when I am not even informed of changes that are made!

You mentioned that the therapist is going to be working with bio mom on handling specific behaviors - will I be informed of what is decided or what the therapist suggests? I am guessing that any behaviors bio mom deals with we deal with as well, and it would be nice to be able to present a unified front so the children can have some consistency. Maybe the therapist could call me and let me know what they are trying, or something like that? Do you have any ideas?

Seriously. How can this even happen? No one would ever, EVER dream of taking a biological child out of daycare without notifying the parents. I mean, what if one of the boys was sick and didn't go to daycare? A worker would just show up at my house an hour early, surprise, it's time for their visit to start? Really? When exactly were they going to tell me these things? And if they decided that X behavior should be handled by doing ______ ...well, seeing as how the kids are with us WAY more than they are with bio mom, don't you think they should tell us???

I'm mad.

Daycare has really helped me out, I mean a LOT. But it gives me even less control than I already had...which, mind you, was not much - but at least it was something!

As a side note, D told me the other day that I never was in foster care because I'm white. That is an interesting perspective! He said he was joking but I'm not so sure...


  1. We quickly pointed out to D all the white kids in foster care that we know of (our neighbor's twins were adopted out of foster care: white; our good friends are fostering a 3 y/o: white)


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