Change of heart

I realized after spending some alone time throughout the day yesterday that I have been a bit uncharitable towards the boys' fathers. After all, I myself have a checkered past. I have just been lucky enough to be "reformed" without the requirement of jail time. I think I would feel better about it if I knew that they had changed, but of course I have no way of knowing this. I will possibly meet them next time the boys go to court (which I plan on attending assuming we can get approved child care). But of course it would be impossible to know for sure on a first meeting, maybe even impossible to know after spending a lot of time together (which will not happen anyway)! They and God will be the only ones that know.

So all that to say, I have a more positive outlook on this now and I truly hope that these dads have changed hearts and that they are ready to spend quality time with their children and be the dads that the kids need.

In other news, I think we have entered the realm of baby tantrums. Not just C (the 2 year old) but now the 13 month old as well. His are much more short lived (and I can usually distract him out of them) but I must say he is a danger to himself! He cries bitterly and will bang his head onto the (hard) floor or onto the coffee table or the wall if he is told "no" or in any way not getting his way. Also if I am holding him and he wants to go somewhere (outside, for example) he will literally throw his body towards wherever he wants to go. At these moments I thank God that I have a tight enough grip on him that he does not take a nose dive the 4 or so feet to the floor.

I'm hoping this is one of those really short phases. I think he is learning from his big brother but unfortunately doesn't yet know enough to block his head from hitting the ground with his hands. C also throws himself on the floor in a quite dramatic fashion when he is not getting his way. Oh at the lake the other day C was trying to have a tantrum and Brian put him in knee-deep water and he was unable to throw himself down so he just stopped having his tantrum. It was pretty hilarious! The poor kid just didn't know what to do with himself. :)

I feel as though I do not have the alone time to spend with each of the boys to teach them new things. I haven't taught Y any new signs, though he is beginning to understand the sign for "food" but doesn't actually do it yet. I'm working with C on counting (like to 2 or 3 only) and colors (we focus on only a couple of colors like red and blue) and animals whenever we have the chance but he doesn't seem to really be picking it up. Perhaps I am just setting my sights a little too high. Maybe he isn't capable of learning these things yet or just isn't interested. What he IS interested in is copying. He copies my gestures, my (or anybody's!) words. He will always repeat "1,2,3" or colors or whatever after me but can't (or won't, or doesn't want to) do it on his own. But yesterday when Brian left for work C said "Tee ya, bye honey!" which is what I normally say to Brian. It was SO hilarious. He has so many quotable quotes -

"I see wooooo! Boo boo!" (I see you! Peek-a-boo!)
"Bye, see ya Monday!"
"I hungeeeeeee" (I'm hungry)
"Need heeeeeeep" (Need help)
"Wah mo cahcuuuuh" (want more cracker)

Can't wait for Y to start talking more too! :)

I guess at the end of the day what matters is loving them and just talking to them and spending time with them. I would love to be able to work with them on more stuff but it's hard to find the time and/or the quiet in order to do it. They are still really young, I just keep telling myself there are many many years before they start school and there is lots of time to teach them. They've only been with us for less than 2 months and have come a long way since then.

Also, D has read TWO TIMES in order to get on the internet. Wooot! Also yesterday since he didn't want to read and was bored he cleaned out, vacuumed and washed our van; organized and vacuumed the basement; and helped me do some of the work that I normally would do (taping papers onto folders and organizing and filing folders). He became very industrious in his attempt to avoid reading. Oh and he also made banana muffins yesterday...which today are almost all gone. :) He took some to give to his mom today so I thought that was good that he was proud of what he did. Makes me smile! :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Well, here we are again

Glasses!

Bio mom