Crash course in parenting - Life as a foster mom

Yeah. This one's all about me. I slept 9 hours last night. I woke up this morning at 7:10 which is very late for me, and we needed to leave the house at 7:20! And somehow we managed to at least leave the house by 7:25 which was still pretty darn good. And I feel awesome. 9 hours of sleep > 7 hours of sleep. :) I have been painting lately. We had some wood trim around our window sills that has needed to be painted for...oh...a year and a half? Yikes. Taking the time to paint means that I have no time for anything else! It's been kinda crazy. Also, painting gives you that up close and personal time with your walls that makes you realize...wow these things are dirty. And I had no idea we had so many cobwebs in here! We are going to remove a small wall in our kitchen. We picked out our new kitchen flooring and it is sooooo pretty. I mean, really. Here is a picture: Flooring It is going to look fantastic. Honestly we could put anything on the floor and it would rock -...

Sunday afternoon D had a football game, but when he and my husband left for it the little boys were still asleep. It turned out for the best, really, because the previous game went into overtime so they were at the football field for 3 hours, plus the 1/2 hour each way driving there. Bio mom did end up coming, and brought D's football pants for him so that crisis was averted. The boy's mom called me and asked if C and Y were going to be there and I told her no. I could tell she was bummed. I kind of have mixed feelings...I mean I want to support D, but asking the little boys to sit there for that length of time is not really reasonable, I don't think! And there is a park at the field that they could go play at, but she always just wants to sit there with them and feed them candy and chips. So anyway, when they both woke up I took them to the park a few blocks from our house. Oh man, I love taking the kids to the park. They are daredevils and always like to try to clim...

D decided that this weekend when he was staying overnight at his mom's house, he would take his football gear over there and wash it. He came back last night, and shortly after arriving he said "Oh no! I left my football pants at my mom's!" Now in case you know as little about football as I do, let me tell you - the pants are important. They have all these special little pockets that hold individual pads, so it's not like you can just wear different pants. Well it was not that big of a deal, because his mom was planning to come to the game so she said she would just bring the pants. Today she texted me and said she might not have a ride to the game. She cannot drive, but I am not really sure why. I know for sure even if she could drive she doesn't have a car anyway. So, she wanted to know if we could come to her house and get the pants. We have been learning about not bailing your kids out when they do things like forget their backpack or homework or whateve...

The other day I grabbed a handful of peanuts and went into the living room to munch them. I saw Y making a beeline for me. I like to call him "little vulture" because he likes to try to steal whatever food you have. I tossed them quickly all into my mouth because I didn't want to share. Y: Can I hab sum? Me: (with mouth full of peanuts) Oh, they're all gone! Y: ...Can I hab sum out your mouth? Grossness! But honestly I did open my mouth to see what he would do but he didn't try to get any. :o) I was trying to explain that the main character on Cars is Lightning McQueen, not "Lie queen!" which is what C says. Me: Say "lightning" C: Lightning! Me: "MaaacQueen" C: Queen! Me: No, MaaacQueen. C: (tearing up) No don't say it like that! That's not how you say it! He also got really upset that his shirt said "Tow Mater and Lightning McQueen"...he wanted it to say Lie Queen only! :) And my most favorite one: I took Y to...

Apparently it's mid-quarter. I think it's kind of weird, but we have parent-teacher conferences in the middle of the first and third quarter...not at all in the second or fourth. Anyway, last year when I went to these it was pretty much bad news - behavior issues (not serious, but almost every teacher mentioned his behavior in class as needing some work), some F's and D's, you know the drill. This year I was brought to tears after hearing all of his teachers talk about him. They all say he is smart, wonderful to have in class, and a good kid. He has all A's and one B, and his Science teacher wants to move him up to the Science class for smart kids! I told his mom about it and I'm not gonna lie, I got choked up. I am not sure if this change is because of anything we are doing or not, but it at least makes me feel like we are hopefully doing something right. And it just solidified in my mind that I will be very happy if we can leave these kids better off than ...

Alright, the idea that these kids are going home is starting to sink in. Anything could still happen, I know. Basically, I kind of feel like I need to start gathering photos and memories from the time the boys have been here and put it into some kind of book. I'm thinking of making them each their own book, and since my scrap-booking skills are non-existent I am thinking of just doing something online where I could get the book printed. I am going Has anybody done this before for their foster kids that went home? Do you put a few pictures of yourself in it or just of them? Your full names? Leave them with contact information for you so they can contact you someday if they want to? Any suggestions of websites to use? Other ideas/suggestions? I don't mind spending a little money on these, and I want them to be nice and long-lasting. I think one of the things that breaks my heart is that someday Y especially might not even remember us at all. If their mom chooses to not hav...

Welp I did my triathlon yesterday. It rained the entire time and it was very cold. I finished 66th out of 69 people, and nearly cried on the bike because I just got so cold and was so alone out there for 26 miles. But I told myself I was gonna do it, and I did it! In other news - Y and C went to respite on Saturday night because the other three of us had to get up at 5:45 ish a.m. on Sunday to get ready for the tri. Saturday morning I took Y to the potty every hour or so and he peed on the potty every time, and he even told me he needed to poop and we made it to the potty in time for him to poop on it! It was pretty much awesome. I told the respite lady that we are working on trying to potty train him, but that she didn't have to work on it if she didn't want to. They have three foster children ages 1, 2, and 6 year old, plus our two at 2 and 3 years old...that's a bit of a full house! Well she is a saint, and she did take him potty and he stayed dry all day yesterday ...

Well, court was yesterday. Basically it was no big deal, it was an exception hearing. I guess once kids have been out of home for more than 15 months (these kids are going on 18 months) there has to be a really good reason to not terminate rights. In this case, the really good reason is that bio mom is making excellent progress. The state, the Family Permanency Specialist, the kids' GAL, and bio mom's attorney all testified that they felt that giving the exception to continue out of home placement was a good idea. They all sung mom's praises far and wide. Then the judge got to dad's attorney, and he was all "Well, MY client has been doing really good too!" It was so funny. No one cares about goober man dad. He doesn't even want custody and even if he did I doubt he would get it. Anyway. Basically several people during court said the kids would be returning home "soon" (whatever "soon" means). I am a little nervous because right ...

I went to bio mom's house yesterday to pick up D to take him to football practice. The windows were open, and as I walked up to the house I could hear screaming (one of the little boys, not bio mom thank goodness!). Once I got inside I could see that it was Y screaming, because C was on a bike and Y wanted to ride it. Y turned to me and held his arms up to be held...mom was just sitting on the floor kind of being oblivious. I picked him up, and said "I'm sure you'll get to have a turn when C is done!", held him for a few seconds, and Y stopped crying. And then I put him down. This was during a visit that was not supervised, and surprisingly there were no family members there. I felt kind of weird doing what I did but I couldn't just ignore him when he was holding his arms up to me wanting to be held! He almost always wants to be held after being told "no"...I think it's just his way of confirming that he is still loved even though he might ...

Welp, D has been granted one overnight visit a week with his mom! This feels like the beginning of the end. Only 6 short months ago she basically abandoned them, not showing up to any visit for 3 whole weeks while we were taking care of them 24/7 (the kids were not in daycare at that time) and completely stressing out! We are requesting that the visits take place on Friday nights. Mostly because they already have a visit all day on Saturdays, so if she allows D to stay up late and he is cranky the next day then she will get to spend the whole day with him! :) And, of course, that would also mean that we avoid spending the whole day with an over-tired 12 year old. So it's kind of a win win, because it's a learning opportunity for her! Plus there are other reasons too...but that's the main reason. :) I feel like I had something else important to say, but I can't remember what that was. So, until next time!

I may or may not be procrastinating on vacuuming right now... Anyway. D has struggled with math since he moved in here. He has problems with some of the basics, things like borrowing, dividing, etc. When he first moved in, we of course had ZERO experience parenting an 11 year old...and at this point in time we don't have much more, but maybe in the future we'll get more practice. :D Anyway, we always made sure he did his homework, but never actually looked at it. Then when I went to the quarterly parent-teacher conferences after the first quarter last year, it turned out he had an F in math! There was at least 1 test where he got like a 25%! So we freaked out, started grading his homework when he was done, and then had him re-do all the ones he got wrong. We also assigned him extra math homework, again grading it when he was done and having him fix any problems he missed. His teacher would email me when their tests would be, and we would drill him on the test material bef...

I need to say a couple more things about the death of our beloved cat. First, we have NOT TOLD the little boys about this. So if you know me in real life, and you see them, feel free to not mention it. These aren't my children and it is difficult for me to know how to explain death to them, and I'm not sure their mom would even WANT them to know about death. Tigger was an inside/outside cat, and so I don't think the little boys will really notice that he is gone because he wasn't always around, you know what I mean? They did hear my husband say that Tigger was in heaven and they didn't ask about that so...who knows. They did love Tigger and always liked to pet him...Y even tried to ride him once. :o) Also, D does NOT KNOW that I am the one that hit Tigger with the car. He only knows that he was hit by a car. So again, if you see him, don't tell him that it was my fault! We figure it may increase his animosity towards me and honestly I just don't ...

I know some of you don't know me in "real" life, so I will tell you that we have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Two days ago, there was a tragic accident and our cat, Tigger, passed away. What happened was that I backed over him in our minivan. I cannot even begin to describe to you the horror and despair that filled my heart when I realized what I had done. I will spare you the details, but suffice to say that God was merciful in that Tigger went very quickly, and my husband and I were able to be with him when he passed (although I was pretty much just a terrific mess, my husband actually held him and petted him while he died). God was also merciful in that all of the kids were at a visit with their mom, so they weren't there to see what happened. God was also so merciful in that Tigger did not appear to be maimed or terribly bloody, and when he died he just looked like he was sleeping. Tigger was born on August 8, 2004, and my husband and I were just beginning our da...