The latest

Welp, I think it's been a while. Where shall I begin...

D has been approved to have monitored visitation with his mom. This will be happening on Saturday afternoons for 3 hours, then the rest of the children will head to the visit for a supervised 4 hour visit. He and his mom both wanted the monitored visit to be on Sunday; D said 7 hours was "too long" to spend at his mom's house. Yes I know, it's extremely odd. Anyway, I am thankful that Sunday didn't work out because that is really our one day a week we can spend with our families or whatever and not have to plan around school and/or visits.

How do I feel about this? I have no freaking clue. I mean it's good of course (since the goal is reunification!), and of all the kids I am most comfortable with D being alone with his mom. Part of me has alarm bells going off in my head saying "THEY ARE GOING TO GO HOME SOON!" which may or may not even be correct. I am just trying to go with the flow here and not think about it too much because there is no point; it's out of my control.

Bio dad missed his visit on Tuesday. He didn't even bother to call and cancel. So the kids were picked up and taken to his house and unloaded out of the car, and he didn't answer the stupid door. Also, luck would have it that both C and Y were looking forward to the visit on Tuesday. That "man" pisses me off.

You know how I had to fight tooth and nail to get a new doctor for C, and how I found one that rocks? And then the other two boys got changed to that doctor as well? Well, I just found out today that the new doctor is retiring or something. It sounds like it was really unexpected. The PA we've been seeing (who ROCKS the house) is going to begin working for the doctor next door to the doctor we've been seeing, so now I have to get permission to change to THAT doctor, and call Medicaid for all three kids and get it all changed again. Frustrating!!!!

My husband is leaving on Saturday and is going to be gone for a WEEK, riding his bike across Iowa. Yes, the state. I have still been having a lot of trouble with D talking back to me and being extremely argumentative and rude, and the thought of being alone with him for that length of time without my husband to back me up was daunting to say the least. So...he's going to respite for a few nights. Without the little boys. I feel kind of bad about it, but he enjoys going to respite. He admits that he likes to put on a front for people so they think he's better than he is, and I think he likes to live in that pretend world where everyone thinks he's a perfect little gentleman. So I know the respite provider will have it easier than I do. I am not saying he is a terrible child or anything like that; he can be a really great kid. He can also be difficult especially for me. I feel like I have been doing a good job of avoiding fights with him the past couple of days, and not letting him draw me in. But I have to stay on my toes and I don't always do that.

We are going to meet up with my husband in Iowa and stay at an indoor waterpark there for a couple of nights. I am pretty excited! My parents are coming with us so that they can help me with the little boys when my husband isn't around. It wouldn't be so big of a deal if it wasn't around the water...I just get nervous and I know I couldn't keep an eye on both of them at the same time 100% of the time and make sure they were safe. Especially C, he is just a little daredevil in the water! And I know D will want to be off riding the slides and whatnot and not having to babysit the whole time. So I am glad that that worked out for my mom and dad to come with us.

I guess that's basically it. Also, the boys are getting cuter every day. I am not really sure how that is possible, but it's true. This morning I had to take Y to the doctor for his 2 year appointment (he is 75% for height, 10% for weight???? Apparently he has become a skinny giant). When we got to preschool, I told Y that he wasn't going to go to preschool yet but that we would go to the doctor, and then we would come to preschool later. He said "OK. Bye C!" and waved to his brother, and C said "Bye!" back. It made them look and sound so grown up! Then I popped in to Y's classroom to let his teacher know that he would be coming later, one of the little boys in the class said "Y? Y?" and I said he would be coming later, and he said "OK! Bye!" It was so stinking adorable.

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