Plea for help

Welp, I sent an email to all the important people on the case today asking for HELP WITH D. I am at my wit's end. D has been treating me like total poop and I am seriously considering disrupting the placement, for him only (if that is even possible). Trust me, I NEVER thought I would say that. But every time my husband is not around, D just wants to be a huge jerk. It's a bad example for the little boys, and honestly I dread the times when I have to be alone with D. Normally he can go a few hours at a time being nice to me, but he hasn't made it a whole day in...I don't know. A long time. I'm not even talking about being NICE, just simply not being disrespectful. He actually told me that he knows he treats me bad when my husband is not around, he just "doesn't know why".

I feel this could be addressed in therapy; however his therapist is ineffective at best and possibly incompetent. I don't hear from him at ALL, and I know mostly what they do is play games and stuff. His therapist apparently asked him earlier this week if he had been taking his meds...only D doesn't TAKE any meds. Funny right? I feel like for this to be addressed in therapy the therapist should at least talk to me on a regular basis, maybe even include me or us in therapy all together! Novel idea, I know. But because of what happened in his home prior to foster care, plus who knows what else, maybe he is scarred for life! I just feel like no on cares about this but I really think it is a big deal! If it is an issue he has with women, this could be really bad later in his life. He is always going to have women authority figures - possibly in jobs, at school, etc.

Oh and also they are adding an additional visit for the little kids during the week with their mom. So they will have 4 visits a week now. I think it will be good as long as they don't disrupt their nap times like they always like to try to do!

In other news, C was reading The Hungry Caterpillar to himself, and it went something like this:

"I'm reading the Bible. Then God made the sun come up, and the caterpillar was hungry, and he ate a lot of food, and then he turned into the ra-ca-coon!"


Comments

  1. RaeAugust 28, 2011 at 4:55 PM

    Brynn, can you give some examples of how D is treating you?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Learning to ParentAugust 29, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    Well he only does it to me, not to my husband. Basically if I ask him to do anything (things like chores which he knows he has to do every day, or homework) he says he doesn't feel like doing them, or he just says "I'm not gonna do it!" and gets mad for no apparent reason that I can see. He feels he is "too tired" to do his chores, even after having a break after school and eating a snack or whatever. Instead he wants to sit in the living room and annoy the little boys and make them cry. He'd rather go to his room, by himself, for hours at a time than to do what I ask him to do. He gets super mad at me and argues with me when I try to help him with his homework (he apparently thinks I am incapable of 7th grade math, even though I skipped a grade and went to college for free because apparently some people think I'm smart), he criticizes me for my choices with the little boys - the other day he got mad because I didn't let C (who is 3) drink his milk out of his cereal bowl.

    I feel like he thinks he is an equal to me, and he shouldn't have to obey me and he should get to choose what happens to the little boys. The stuff with them does not concern him one mite but he gets all worked up about it. Also when I try to talk to him about anything, if it's something he doesn't want to hear he just plugs his ears and makes noises trying not to hear what I'm saying. I don't think I've ever seen him do this to my husband though he may have.

    Some of this stuff sounds trivial, I know, but I guess after months of this behavior I just kind of feel like I have reached my limit!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Learning to ParentAugust 29, 2011 at 5:59 AM

    Oh and he tried to boss me around...like yesterday he told me "Don't you think you should start making dinner?" and this morning it was "Hey, the cat isn't supposed to be on the table" (implied in that, to me, is "You need to get the cat off the table"). It's pretty infuriating!

    ReplyDelete

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