Emails I sent today

I think they speak for themselves.

Email number one, sent to Service Coordinator, Caseworker, and Family Support worker:

Hi guys,

Just a heads up that more and more C has not been wanting to go on visits. Today I actually had to have DH hold C's legs so that I could get his pants on him, because he was screaming and kicking and fighting so hard and did not want to get his pants on because he didn't want to go on the visit. He was clinging to me for dear life when the worker took him away.

He asks about going to his mom's house and seems like he wants to go, until the moment comes when he actually has to go. Sometimes he goes with no issues, but on days like today it is a huge ordeal to get him to go. I have no idea what is going on with him or what is causing this behavior. I know that previously when I asked about therapy for him I was told he is too young, but now he is almost three and is talking more and more (though still not really able to talk about his feelings). Is he still too young?

If there is anything I can or should do about this please let me know. I feel bad forcing him to go if he doesn't want to go but I know it is good for him to see his mom and family and I really don't have a choice.



Email number two, sent to all of the previous people as well as the Guardian ad Litem:

Hi all,

GAL, can you please let me know when you get this? I want to make sure I have your email address correct. Also, please see my original email below.

Just wanted to let everybody know that bio mom canceled the visit today. [transport company] came and picked up the three little ones, took them to her house, got them out of the car and got them inside...only to find out that bio mom was not there. Her boyfriend was there, and told the [tp] workers that there was a team meeting today and that's why bio mom wasn't there. The [tp] worker called his boss and called SC, who said that he was not aware of a team meeting today. Then they got a hold of bio mom, and she stated that she had called [tp] to cancel the visit because she was sick.

Needless to say, after the terrible events that happened leading up to this visit, to say that I am upset about this would be the understatement of the year. C came home and is totally flipping out right now, saying he wants to see his mom and see the boyfriend, and he has been crying ever since he got home. I am trying to convince him to take a nap as that always seems to help him when his emotions are out of control but so far he is just screaming in his bedroom. I tried to lay him down and he is physically fighting me, kicking his covers off, going totally nuts. This is not like him at ALL.

This is the third time that bio mom has said she called [tp] to cancel and they came and picked up the kids anyway and the second time in the past 2 weeks. I don't know if it is bio mom's fault, or [tp company] fault, but it is my opinion that the frequency with which visits are canceled (I think it averages at least once a week), combined with C's crazy behaviours and [tp's] apparent incompetency, she needs to be put on a call-ahead basis.

Also, I assume you all know this but just in case: [tp] was closed on Tuesday due to the school system having a snow day, so the visit did not occur then either. There has not been a visit since Saturday.

I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating this is. I really hope that this changes and that things don't just remain the same and that some safeguards can be put into place to protect the emotions and feelings of the children, as well as to help us plan on if there is going to be a visit or not so that we can make sure to have plans for dinner, plans for picking up D from school, and plans to reschedule the other things that we need to accomplish during visit times. If we could have some notice that the visit was canceled it would be very helpful to us - as it is now we rarely get a call before 1:30 that the visit is canceled which does not leave very much time to prepare, and obviously getting called at 3:15 that the visit which was supposed to start at 3:15 is canceled is a huge inconvenience for us.


Frustrating day, to say the least!

Comments

  1. Good grief. This is just ridiculous. Honestly Brynn, I don't know how you keep your cool with all this. I thought your e-mails were very well worded and probably too nice. Poor C - my heart just breaks for him. He doesn't understand what's going on. That makes me sad. Thank heaven's you are looking out for their best interest because it sure doesn't seem like anyone else is...

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  2. C can come play at Levi and miss melissa's house. We won't cancel on him. Promise.

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  3. Very well stated, Brynn. Its good you are speaking up about this, even though it may often be hard to get these people to listen.

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