It's Thursday

Not that that is important at all. I just can't come up with a title these days.

Life with three children is getting easier. We all stayed home yesterday and today which was a nice break. All of the questions people have when we are in public make me tired. I know they mean well, really I do. People assume she is "mine" and it's a long road to explain that she is the sister of my three foster sons and I'm just doing daycare for her. So, she is in foster care, but not placed with me. But the person she is placed with works during the day. I think it would help if I weren't such an introvert. Having a baby just makes people want to pay attention to you (OK let's be honest, they want to pay attention to the baby, but in order to get to the baby they have to pay attention to me! :) ), and I just don't like being the center of attention. Just not my bag, and it never has been. But that's just how it goes, I suppose!

Y has been very naughty lately, doing things he is not supposed to and ignoring when I tell him "No" or whatever. Also he has been all kinds of whiny. Ugh! I have been trying to make special alone time for he and C both when the baby isn't here. C is taking this whole thing in stride; he's actually been better than usual as far as tantrums and things go.

The caseworker came over last night. We had a really good conversation. It was affirming to hear her say that C has issues and has never been a normal child. I don't really care if we get paid more or whatever for him - I just want someone to acknowledge that there IS a problem and that he is NOT normal. I feel like everyone just looks at us like we're crazy when we describe his behavior. They see the kid that is running around and jabbering and showing off when they come over to the house. They don't see the kid that will completely fall apart when we leave the house, or when we leave church, or when we are going inside a new place, or the kid that screams for 20-30 minutes straight when he can not have what he wants.

She also told us some more about bio mom's mental health, which was eye-opening into both her situation and, possibly, C's behavior, some of which may be a result of inherited mental health issues. This stuff would have been nice to know, say, 4 months ago, but oh well I guess! It makes me very sad for all of them. The core problem is nothing that bio mom can control; all she can control is her reaction to it. But to some extent the problem itself I think causes her not to be able to react to it in a positive manner, do you see what I'm saying? It sucks, for everyone.

In other news, the baby had the most nastiest diaper I've ever seen in my life today. It was a small miracle that the contents stayed in the diaper and didn't get on anything else. Blech. Also, I keep checking every minute or two to make sure she's still breathing in the Moby. It makes me really nervous for some's like if she's being quiet I'm afraid she's dead. But when she's crying or making little noises I'm trying to get her comfortable so she's quiet! Quite the conundrum. Her FM said she had her weighed today and she was up to SEVEN pounds! Wowza! She is eating 3 oz. of formula most of her feeding times these days so I think that's really good. Not that I know anything, of course. :) But it seems like more food is good! Although I'm sure it also means more that's not so good. But messy poo is small price to pay for a healthy, growing baby!

And speaking of eating, I think it's time for a bottle! Not for me, for the baby. Of course. Because it would be really weird if I used a bottle still. :o)


  1. When Levi was born I remember waking up in the middle of the night (multiple times, mind you) just to put my hand on his back and make sure he was still breathing. Even now, every once in a GREAT while, I get the urge to check on him while he's asleep. chalk it up to instinct, I guess.

    You may think "not that I know anything..." but I think you know one whole heck of a lot, and ya know what? for someone who's been just dumped into this whole "four kids thing", I think you're learning at light-speed.

    and when those moments come when you wonder what to do, I'd say 99% of the time your gut will give you the right answer. You're so good at this it makes me wonder how I'll EVER handle two, let alone FOUR!


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