Lessons

The C monster is a little scatter brained. Easily distracted. I know, he's 5, I'm sure it's par for the course.

Every day he takes his lunch box and back pack to school. Usually I remind him, or Y reminds him. There has been at least one time we made it out the door, I strapped Ben in the stroller and put down the garage door and suddenly he remembered, so I put the garage door back up to let him run inside and get it.  We walk right by his stuff every day as we walk out the door, it's not like it's hiding in some secret place or something. This is the third full week of school.

Well today we were waiting on C to leave (as per usual everyone else was ready first). He had his shoes on the wrong feet (also as per usual, even though he has an easy way to tell which side is which he rarely takes the time to make sure he does it correctly). I told him to fix his shoes, and he did. And we left for school. We were running a few minutes late because of his shoes but should still be there on time.

We got halfway to school and Y piped up "Uh oh C, you forgot something!" C burst into tears, and asked if we could go back for his lunch box and his back pack. I said no, we didn't have enough time (we really didn't). He completely melted down, threw himself on the ground right there. I tried to tell him it wasn't that big of a deal, there is nothing in his back pack that he needs for his day (really all he does with it is bring home his papers each evening, and carry his snack to school each day), and that he could eat a hot lunch at school. He cried the rest of the way to school, then once we got there I talked to him again, told him what I had already told him, and encouraged him to not let it ruin his day, and that hopefully next time he would remember. He pulled himself together and walked in to school.

Shortly after we got home, I got a call from the nurses office. He was melting down again and she wanted to know if I could bring his stuff.

I explained that yes, I could, but we feel like if we let him make this mistake once then hopefully it won't happen again. She seemed like she understood and said that was ok.

I feel awful about it. I mean I feel really really bad! I'm so sad for him!  I really do hope that he can learn from this and it never happens again. Part of me probably just feels bad because I don't want to be judged by the other teachers and parents. Like if I were a good mom I'd bring him all his stuff no matter how many times he forgot it.

I really did think about bringing it to him. Then I envision myself in five years, ring ring ring: "Mom, it's C, can you bring me ---? I forgot it."  "mom, it's M, can you bring me my ---? And Y wants to know if you can bring him --- too." "hello, it's the nurse, Ben is crying because he forgot his back pack, can you bring it?" 

So, I have to let him do this. Not just for my own sanity, although that is one reason. Also to help him grow, and so that when he's a senior in high school and forgets his senior project and I'm working and not able to get it for him he doesn't fail his class. Letting him learn the lesson when it's low-cost, versus waiting until he is older and the cost is much higher.

Anyway I really hope his day went better, and I'm trying not to worry about him.  Two more hours till school is out!

Comments

  1. Aw, that's hard. But good for you for sticking it out! You're right -- don't set the precedent that you will bring in anything he forgets!

    It'll be interesting to see if he remembers his things better for a while after this experience....

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  2. I agree with you - and I'm a teacher. Kid's who don't have the opportunity to make mistakes and suffer the consequences can end up being the parents that lose their kids. I can only think of how many times our kid's biological get away with not following the law even now.

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  3. Yep... I'm a teacher, too. I've had KIDS ask, "Can I call my mom? I forgot to bring...." And, my response is NO! It's your responsibility, not your mom's."

    Good life lesson, mom! :)

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  4. I totally support your natural consequences decision! Also, you could substitute my name for C's in the run down of the daily routine, right up until you get to the crying part. And, the lack of meltdown may simply be attributed to the fact that I can just turn the car around. :)

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