I got my first rude comment on my blog today! Three years of blogging. It's pretty good that I made it this long I guess.  I blog for myself, not for anyone else.  So yeah, maybe it's boring..and guess what, I don't care! Feel free not to read. :o)

Anyway.  Mr. Ben has started predictably fussy evenings, normally from 6 or 7 ish until 10 or 11 ish at night.  Just fuss, fuss fuss. I know it's normal but it is still somewhat frustrating! When Brian is here we switch off taking care of him so that is really nice. When he is not here, well, it's not much fun. The other night I did dinner and bed time alone with the 3 middles with Mr. Fussbudget crying (Brian was at D's track meet with him). I nursed Ben while reading the kids their story, it kept him quiet. I had Y hold the book and I said "DING!" when it was time to turn the page. Ha!  It worked though.  So thankful that the other kids are so independent, otherwise I probably would have lost my mind.

A couple nights this week so far he has just randomly been up for 1.5 to 2 hours in the middle of the night, happy as can be just...awake.  In the middle of the night. Not cool, Ben!  Since fussy time doesn't get over until 10 or 11, and I have to be up for the day by 7:45, plus with waking through the night to feed him...yeah. I'm a tired Mama.

The middles are still going to daycare full time. I seriously don't think I could handle them home more than they are. I mean, maybe some days I could. But some days it feels like all I do is feed and care for Ben and I feel lucky if I can eat my lunch all in one sitting. Some days I make myself lunch and don't get to finish it until an hour or longer later.  I don't see how I could take care of 3 other kids too.  I don't know how some moms do it, seriously.  Definitely showing my weakness here.  It will get easier though, right? Right?????

Today is D's 14th birthday! Seriously, so old!  I can't believe it.  Brian is going to take him and some friends camping, not sure when but probably sometime when there isn't SNOW ON THE GROUND.  Yeah, it snowed last night.  Anyway.  He also asked for a book for his ereader, and I was going to buy it today but he didn't know the title and I think I know what book it is but I want to make sure it's right.  Totally forgot about cake, but I might see if I can whip something up this afternoon or, you know, stop by the grocery store for the third time this week and buy one from the bakery. Because it wouldn't be a trip to the grocery store if I didn't forget something!

Every day I realize more and more how judgmental I was before I had kids. Judgmental about daycare, breast feeding, co sleeping, discipline, kids who misbehave in public...pretty much everything.  God is having a good giggle right about now.  I'm just glad that I'm a quiet person and only kept those judgmental opinions in my own mind for the most part!  I don't have to eat crow publicly at least. :)

I sent a FB message to bio mom asking for her address. I am putting together some pictures and things to send to her. She said she got an apartment, but isn't sure if she will have it for long because she has no way to pay her bills. I don't even understand how that works. Then she asked if we could drive down (4-5 hours) so she could see the kids.  After talking it over with Brian, our answer is still no.  If she wants to see them badly enough she will find a way. She managed to make it down there, she managed to get an apartment, she managed to come up for a visit in March, but she can't come up to see her kids? That sure seems odd. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the other part of me knows that I am a huge pushover and always like to believe a good sob story. I'm glad I have Brian to keep me in check.

Oh yeah, and when we weighed Ben again 2 days after my last blog he had gained 1.6 ounces. So that's not bad for 2 days.  On Friday he was 8 lbs, 4.9 oz. (that was 1 month after he came home from the hospital at 6 lbs 14 oz).  I see all these people with these HUGE babies, gaining a pound a week some of them.  One of my FB friends said her 9 month old weighed twenty pounds at his check up! Really?  I'm pretty much resigned to having a skinny baby, he'll probably be thin for a long time. He's still in newborn clothes; he will be 1 month adjusted age in 2 days.  At least we don't have to worry about him being overweight, yeah? :)

So that's that, for my boring update today. ;)


  1. I love reading your blog! Sorry you got a rude post. Your blog encourages me so much to keep trudging along when life is hard with foster/adopt kids and a new born!

  2. How's this for being judgmental and it coming back to haunt you: when I was in 10th grade I moved to this school that had like 10 girls that were pregnant in my grade. I thought it was absolutely awful. Still joke about it today. I was driving down the road yesterday and realized, I have a son now that is the same age as their kids!! If I would of had him biologically, I would of been pregnant with them at the age if 15!!!! Talk about a slap in the face.

  3. So glad to have stumbled upon another foster.foster adopt momma's blog! Sometimes it feels like you are the only one out there!!!


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