Unhappy endings
I got a phone call I was totally not expecting today.
The FSW told us that the boys have to move back in with their old foster mom immediately. Apparently that Iowa background check was NOT ever run on us, and the state (in their infinite wisdom) has insisted that the boys can not be in our care until that is completed. And now they are looking at placing the boys with their aunt, but they still have to do background checks, etc. on her before that is done.
So more moving around for the boys. Their old foster mom does not want them anymore so they will definitely not stay there. Needless to say I am totally devastated. I know that the house is going to be so empty without them here. Brian and I agreed yesterday that if the mom's parental rights got terminated that we would adopt these kids. And now they are not even going to be with us, and maybe never be with us again.
I keep telling myself I would not be so sad if I knew that they were going back to their mom and their mom had solved her issues and was going to be a good mom to them. But to know they are just going to be moving around more is really frustrating, especially when we have worked so hard with these boys even in the short time we've had them to establish a routine, etc.
So we are picking them up from school and telling them what is going on, and making sure they know that this is NOT their fault at all and they can call us anytime, and maybe we can still hang out sometimes.
The good news is that the boys were not being reviewed by an FCRB, but thanks to my persistence they are now going to be reviewed. Not sure what good it will do at this point because the court hearing was YESTERDAY, but at least hopefully that will provide some accountability for the state and the workers involved in this case.
A totally ironic piece of information in all of this is that I tutor first graders at the boys' school (I signed up for that before we got the boys). One of the boys I tutor was actually placed with the boys in the same foster home. So today I tutored this boy again and told him that C and Y were living at my house with me now. This is a really shy boy and his eyes just lit up and he started talking...and after our session he gave me a hug. It was so sweet. So any trust I built with him just went out the window too, which is just wonderful.
I'll keep updating you all on events as the occur in this sad, sad situation.
The FSW told us that the boys have to move back in with their old foster mom immediately. Apparently that Iowa background check was NOT ever run on us, and the state (in their infinite wisdom) has insisted that the boys can not be in our care until that is completed. And now they are looking at placing the boys with their aunt, but they still have to do background checks, etc. on her before that is done.
So more moving around for the boys. Their old foster mom does not want them anymore so they will definitely not stay there. Needless to say I am totally devastated. I know that the house is going to be so empty without them here. Brian and I agreed yesterday that if the mom's parental rights got terminated that we would adopt these kids. And now they are not even going to be with us, and maybe never be with us again.
I keep telling myself I would not be so sad if I knew that they were going back to their mom and their mom had solved her issues and was going to be a good mom to them. But to know they are just going to be moving around more is really frustrating, especially when we have worked so hard with these boys even in the short time we've had them to establish a routine, etc.
So we are picking them up from school and telling them what is going on, and making sure they know that this is NOT their fault at all and they can call us anytime, and maybe we can still hang out sometimes.
The good news is that the boys were not being reviewed by an FCRB, but thanks to my persistence they are now going to be reviewed. Not sure what good it will do at this point because the court hearing was YESTERDAY, but at least hopefully that will provide some accountability for the state and the workers involved in this case.
A totally ironic piece of information in all of this is that I tutor first graders at the boys' school (I signed up for that before we got the boys). One of the boys I tutor was actually placed with the boys in the same foster home. So today I tutored this boy again and told him that C and Y were living at my house with me now. This is a really shy boy and his eyes just lit up and he started talking...and after our session he gave me a hug. It was so sweet. So any trust I built with him just went out the window too, which is just wonderful.
I'll keep updating you all on events as the occur in this sad, sad situation.
Bless your heart! Remember, God loves those boys even more than you do. He is in control. You are a willing servant, and He knows that.
ReplyDeleteI will pray that you will get those boys if it is God's will. Trust HIM! He has a plan!
Love in Him,
Diane
Oh Brynn! I am so sorry!! I don't even know what to say. I'm crying for you. I just have to keep thinking that God loves them more than anyone else and He'll take care of them. I'm really frustrated for you and hope the background checks will go through quickly!
ReplyDeleteThank you guys. We told the boys tonight, and they seemed to take it really well. They are going back to their old foster mom's house, so at least they kind of already have a routine there and stuff. We told them that the state has to give us a piece of paper that says they can live with us, and that we do not have that piece of paper so they have to go live with the old foster mom. And we told them they might not live with us again, but that we hope they do.
ReplyDeleteI do know that God has a plan in this. I think just the fact that this case is going to be reviewed by an FCRB is going to make a big difference, even if these kids don't come back to live with us. There will always be other kids that need foster homes...but I sure liked these ones! :(
Oh, Brynn and Brian, my heart is so heavy for you guys. You are loving well. So proud of you. I'll give Scott the update and we'll continue praying for you and these little men.
ReplyDelete