Entry one - The first few days
First, a little about me. My husband of four years and I are not able to have kids of our own. We have three cats, two dogs, and a love for children. I decided long, long ago that I wanted to be a foster parent. It took my husband a little longer to come around, but he eventually got there. :) This blog is going to chronicle my adventures through the foster care system.
I originally wrote the entry below on Monday, May 3, 2010:
Well this weekend I:
Had my fourth wedding anniversary
Went to Wichita for a friend's wedding
Ran my first marathon
Became an official foster parent for the first time
Needless to say - very busy!
Our foster kids moved in with us yesterday. They came with exactly one suitcase. One of them had the clothes he was wearing, two pairs of pants, and two shirts. So three pairs of clothes all together. Then come to find out...they think they are only staying with us for a week. The case worker decided that it would be best not to tell them that they are moving in with us, because it might lead to them acting out in their old foster home. Did I mention that they didn't bring their backpacks with them? Or toothbrushes??
So anyway, we went to the store last night and bought them toothbrushes and let them pick out cereal and juice and stuff that they like. We also bought them new socks because theirs were old, and stinky.
Then today after I took them to school, I called the case worker. I did not know where or when to pick them up from school (they go to an after-school program that is not at their school). I did not know when their visits with their mom were during the week - kind of important! I wanted to make sure that the school had our contact information, in case anything would happen (kids getting sick, discipline problem, whatever). I'm sure the boys don't even know our last name, much less our phone numbers. I also said that we want to have a good relationship with their teachers, and that we want to know if they are having problems in school or if there is stuff we need to work on with them at home. I asked about the after school program, if it was something that had benefits or if it was just a place they could go so their foster mom didn't have to deal with them or whatever. That is also when I found out that they hadn't told the boys they were moving in with us. I asked if it was OK for us to enroll them in swimming lessons (neither one can swim, and I view that as a safety issue more than anything). And I also needed to find out when we are getting the rest of their stuff! Three outfits is really not enough. So...yeah. Just a lot of questions!
So she called the school and gave them our info, thankfully. I went and toured the after school program and talked with the guy that runs it. He is also a foster dad, so that was kind of cool. It is really structured, they help kids with their homework and have college students come in and help tutor the kids. Then once homework is done they sometimes play on the computers or play basketball or whatever. I think we'll go ahead and leave them in the program, just because the school year is almost over and we don't want to disrupt their schedule or their lives anymore than they are already disrupted.
He also said they have a summertime program, and that the boys were already slotted to attend it, but if we don't want them to attend then to let him know so he can fill the slots with other kids. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. It is structured and they do stuff like take field trips, work on math/reading skills, etc. And I totally get why that is a good thing. But there is part of me that's like...these are our kids now, and our responsibility. We both work from home, and I probably only work 10-20 hours a week on average. So really we are probably going to need SOME help, because I can't really watch them while I'm working, but I don't know that sending them someplace like that is the answer, especially when there are other kids that might need the program whereas for us it would really be just a convenience. And then part of me is saying...they are 8 and 9 years old, I realize they can't really run rampant but how much supervision do they really need, you know? Another option we have is Camp Sonshine, which is a Christian day camp that some of our friends run. Kids do lots of outside activities, go swimming, do crafts, all kinds of different things, plus they also learn about God. You enroll for that a week at a time, so we could send them every other week, or something like that...? I like the Camp Sonshine thing just because of the morals and the Christian aspect. Plus I know the people that run it and they are awesome. And we'd be paying for it, which I totally believe in because the state is paying us to take care of these kids!
So I guess there are just some decisions that have to be made. It's just hard to know what's best. All these decisions to make and we have been foster parents for barely 30 hours. :o)
I originally wrote the entry below on Monday, May 3, 2010:
Well this weekend I:
Had my fourth wedding anniversary
Went to Wichita for a friend's wedding
Ran my first marathon
Became an official foster parent for the first time
Needless to say - very busy!
Our foster kids moved in with us yesterday. They came with exactly one suitcase. One of them had the clothes he was wearing, two pairs of pants, and two shirts. So three pairs of clothes all together. Then come to find out...they think they are only staying with us for a week. The case worker decided that it would be best not to tell them that they are moving in with us, because it might lead to them acting out in their old foster home. Did I mention that they didn't bring their backpacks with them? Or toothbrushes??
So anyway, we went to the store last night and bought them toothbrushes and let them pick out cereal and juice and stuff that they like. We also bought them new socks because theirs were old, and stinky.
Then today after I took them to school, I called the case worker. I did not know where or when to pick them up from school (they go to an after-school program that is not at their school). I did not know when their visits with their mom were during the week - kind of important! I wanted to make sure that the school had our contact information, in case anything would happen (kids getting sick, discipline problem, whatever). I'm sure the boys don't even know our last name, much less our phone numbers. I also said that we want to have a good relationship with their teachers, and that we want to know if they are having problems in school or if there is stuff we need to work on with them at home. I asked about the after school program, if it was something that had benefits or if it was just a place they could go so their foster mom didn't have to deal with them or whatever. That is also when I found out that they hadn't told the boys they were moving in with us. I asked if it was OK for us to enroll them in swimming lessons (neither one can swim, and I view that as a safety issue more than anything). And I also needed to find out when we are getting the rest of their stuff! Three outfits is really not enough. So...yeah. Just a lot of questions!
So she called the school and gave them our info, thankfully. I went and toured the after school program and talked with the guy that runs it. He is also a foster dad, so that was kind of cool. It is really structured, they help kids with their homework and have college students come in and help tutor the kids. Then once homework is done they sometimes play on the computers or play basketball or whatever. I think we'll go ahead and leave them in the program, just because the school year is almost over and we don't want to disrupt their schedule or their lives anymore than they are already disrupted.
He also said they have a summertime program, and that the boys were already slotted to attend it, but if we don't want them to attend then to let him know so he can fill the slots with other kids. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. It is structured and they do stuff like take field trips, work on math/reading skills, etc. And I totally get why that is a good thing. But there is part of me that's like...these are our kids now, and our responsibility. We both work from home, and I probably only work 10-20 hours a week on average. So really we are probably going to need SOME help, because I can't really watch them while I'm working, but I don't know that sending them someplace like that is the answer, especially when there are other kids that might need the program whereas for us it would really be just a convenience. And then part of me is saying...they are 8 and 9 years old, I realize they can't really run rampant but how much supervision do they really need, you know? Another option we have is Camp Sonshine, which is a Christian day camp that some of our friends run. Kids do lots of outside activities, go swimming, do crafts, all kinds of different things, plus they also learn about God. You enroll for that a week at a time, so we could send them every other week, or something like that...? I like the Camp Sonshine thing just because of the morals and the Christian aspect. Plus I know the people that run it and they are awesome. And we'd be paying for it, which I totally believe in because the state is paying us to take care of these kids!
So I guess there are just some decisions that have to be made. It's just hard to know what's best. All these decisions to make and we have been foster parents for barely 30 hours. :o)
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