Crash course in parenting - Life as a foster mom

We will now take a break from our regularly scheduled foster care blog to talk about canning peaches. Feel free to skip if you are so inclined. :) It all started when my grandparents gave me their pressure cooker. This thing is probably from 70's, maybe older than that, who knows. It's old. And huge. And bright yellow. But gardener/hippie that I am, I was definitely excited about the idea of canning. Canning what? Oh, you know. Whatever. For Christmas I asked for canning stuff, and my sister got me this totally rockin' canning book and my mom and dad got me the necessary canning supplies (like a jar-lifter, bubble releaser, jar grabber, etc.). My parents also got me a new seal for the pressure cooker, since the one that my grandparents gave me was totally worn out. I installed it and tested it - success! I actually read my canning book over the winter (yes I am a freak) and, looking at some of the volumes and yields, thought that if produce gets below a certain amoun...

I was just thinking, I wonder how many blogging foster parents have posts entitled "Court" just like this one is? Probably a lot of them! This morning I had to wake the boys up early since court was at 8:30 and I had to take them to preschool before that, and then drive to the courthouse. When I went in their room C was already awake. The first thing he said to me was "I don't feel very good!" I asked what was the matter, and he said his tummy hurt. Knowing all of his issues, I asked if he needed to poop and he said no. Then when he was sitting on the floor getting dressed...he puked. He had no fever, and was totally fine after that. He ate a giant bowl of oatmeal and half of an apple, and asked for more food but I cut him off because I didn't want him to stuff himself and then get sick again! So I called my mom for some advice - I mean should I take the kid to daycare or to court with me??? We agreed that he could just go to daycare, since he felt fi...

I'm blogging again. I know I've done it a lot lately! I talked to C about lying today. Sometimes when he he needs to poop, he says he doesn't need to poop. I know this because yesterday he pooped his pants about 3 minutes after I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom. Oh and as a side note, while I was in the bathroom getting him cleaned up Y somehow grabbed a pen off of the kitchen table and colored on the wall. He shouted "Color!" when I caught him and he was so proud and happy of his "artwork". I felt a little bad about putting him in time out for it because he really was SO cute. :) So this morning C was sitting on the potty and I asked if he had poop in his tummy, to which he said "no". We had this conversation: Me: "Are you lying?" C: "No? Yes. No." Me: "Do you know what lying is?" C: "It's when you're on the potty!" Me: (totally struggling) "Um...no...Is my shirt pink?"...

D spent the night camping with his friends two nights in a row over the weekend. They camped in said friend's back yard. One day they stayed up until 2 a.m., woke up at 6:30, then D went to a bike race and rode his bike 12 miles. The next night they stayed up until midnight and got up at 7 a.m. Yesterday he got grounded for being crabby and defiant and rude. Today I had to go pick him up from football camp because he got so mad that he went in the boys' bathroom and headbutted one of the partitions, causing it to detach from the wall. They asked him to leave for the rest of the day but are allowing him to come back tomorrow, which I think is very very kind of them. He fell asleep in the car on the drive home. Lesson learned: Sleepovers two nights in a row is a BAD, BAD IDEA. We are now a little less green in our attempt to parent a 12-year-old. :)

The party went really well! Lots of people came over, and we ate hamburgers, brats, watermelon, scalloped potatoes, and birthday cake of course. :) The kids played (a little bit at least) in the pool, in the sprinkler that my parents got Y, and on the swing set. Our nephews played with D which was fun for him - they were getting totally soaked chasing eachother around with the water hose and I thought their dads and grandma were going to have heart attacks. But they didn't. Our nephews didn't bring their swim trunks so that stunk for them! It was totally looking like it was going to rain, but it held off until everyone left the party which was nice! Our house is just not big enough to hold that many people so it was good that they could play outside OK, maybe it's just not big enough to hold that many BOYS. There were 8 boys there between the ages of 2 and 14. No girls, except for baby M of course. :) I was so much more relaxed than I was for C's birthday party. ...

It's nice to get information sometimes. I got some information today. I am not sure how much of this I feel is appropriate to share on here, but suffice to say that bio mom is not doing as well as we were told (by the GAL) that she was. We met with the SC today and got some surprising information. It also sounds like the permanency plan is pretty close to getting changed from Reunification to Adoption. There I said it. Anything could still happen at this point; it could still go either way. Any change that may happen (if it even happens!) will probably not happen for a while. Court is in a few days and no changes are expected at that time; the next hearing is in 3 months. So don't let me get my hopes up, OK? It seems weird to say that, because if TPR happened it would be heartbreaking. But having them leave at this point is heartbreaking too. It should have never gone on this long, IMHO, but I am not the one in charge and I can do nothing to move this case either way. On...

Apparently I didn't blog it - but the 18th was Y's birthday! He turned TWO YEARS OLD and has had both of his birthdays while living at our house in foster care. Kind of strange, isn't it? He is such a different kid than he was back then! He has gained 7 pounds, gone from wearing 6-9 month size clothes to wearing size 2T. His feet have grown from a size 4 to a size 6. He has gone from being a solemn-faced boy to being a smiley, laughing boy with a great sense of humor. He likes to tease me and annoy his big brother, can talk in sentences of 2-3 words, know LOTS of words, and is just a wonderful cuddly boy. He loves to "sing" and it is a joy to watch him being so happy and content. He likes to put his pants and his shoes on by himself and wants to be as independent as possible. When he first moved in he could walk but still mostly crawled; now he can walk and run better than his big brother. I love him so much and it is amazing to think of how much he has gr...

Yesterday I picked the three amigos from daycare/preschool. The C Monster started singing a song - "Dinos do the mam-BA!" I asked him about it, and he said: "Miss Kailah sa-" ..."We di-" ...."The-" ... (exasperated) "Can you help me talk???" :) Also C pooped in the potty two times today which is a record. Yesterday he pooped FIVE TIMES, twice in his pants (one of those times at daycare - sorry Miss Kailah!), twice in a diaper, once on the potty. I think he is just holding it until he simply can't anymore and then it leaks out before he really can ask to go to the bathroom. I also discovered that if you ask him if he needs to poop he says no, but if you ask him if there is poop in his tummy the answer MIGHT be "yes!" in which case, we need to sit on the potty and let the poop in the tummy out. So, today I tried to be proactive which did result in two poops on the potty but there was much protesting on his part. I am ho...

She called me back today. I am pretty sure that is a record for people involved in this case - getting a call back within 24 hours, I mean. Rock on! So pretty much she is already on my good side. She seems pretty awesome and pretty down to earth. It sounds like with C she is working with mom on helping her stick to her guns (i.e., no means no, rather than no means no...unless you scream enough, and then you get what you want!). She said first she will have mom do time outs with C and leaving him in time out until he stops crying. This could get interesting, because sometimes it takes a really long time. It sounds like she thinks he's doing it for attention and to get what he wants. Also she wants to help him to be able to verbalize his feelings. She said once he is crying for less time in time out, then time outs will not be started until he is quiet. I asked her to call me and let me know when they move on to the next step with bio mom, and she said "Oh, I was thinking...

We had the second team meeting, ever, today. In two days our kids will have been with us for an entire year. Team meetings are supposed to happen monthly. Two out of twelve isn't bad, right? Bio mom still doesn't want the foster parents present at her team meetings. So they scheduled the foster parents for the first 30 minutes and then the bio mom for the rest of it. Only I guess somebody told the mom she could come at 1:15 instead of 1:30...so we got a 15 minute team meeting. I didn't get all of my concerns addressed because there just wasn't time, BUT - 1. SC is going to request that visits with bio dad be suspended. I won't go into details but it sounds like he is a mess and due to his inconsistency in visits (not showing up and/or ending them early) they don't feel the relationship is beneficial to the children, plus he isn't following court orders either. 2. SC is going to call the bad transport company and tell them they need to call us when vis...

Well the visit fiasco from yesterday got worked out. Apparently bio dad had the visit but ended it early...sounds like he didn't have formula for the baby (which is his responsibility to provide). Of course nobody called us to tell us about this - we found out only because M's foster mom emailed the SC to ask her (which I was thankful for, as I feel I have used up my nasty-gram allotment for at least the next week or so). I just don't see what is so difficult about giving the foster parents a call "Hey, dad ended the visit early, so we are taking the kids to daycare early". Apparently it is very difficult because this is the second time it has happened. I know it's not my job to coordinate this stuff. But if I don't do stuff then things happen and we get caught off guard - like visitation workers coming to our house when the kids are supposed to be at a visit, and dropping the kids off...only we aren't there because we are running errands or whate...

This is going to be a blog full of ranting, so prepare yourself! The SC never, ever returns my calls. Or emails. Apparently the transportation company that does bio dad's visits is run out of somebody's home. This somebody does not answer her cell phone. Also, the worker that picked the boys up today picked them up 3 minutes before the visit was about to start. I called fifteen minutes before the visit shold have started (the worker should have been at my house by then) thinking the visit might be cancelled...but no one answered. C was screaming his face off because he didn't want to leave, and I had no idea what was going on, especially since dad comes and goes and didn't even show up for last week's visit. Frustrating. I emailed the SC & co. 2 weeks ago letting them know about D's summer schedule and the technology camp he is going to be attending. I asked that they make arrangements to get him from his camp to the visits, since the visits start at 3:15 b...

My marathon is in five days. I am doing what is called "tapering", which means cutting back on my running so that my body can be in top shape for my marathon. Last week I only ran 19 miles! Which probably sounds like a lot but during my peak week I ran 39 miles. I am feeling restless and lazy. It doesn't help that my husband purchased a Garmin 110 (the pink one!) for me for our anniversary, and I haven't gotten to use it yet! Tomorrow I will use it running for the first time when I run a measly 3 miles. D accepted our challenge to do the dog walking and the vacuuming again. At first he said he didn't want to, but after a few hours of us teasing him he finally gave in. I also let him hold $240 cash, the amount of money that he could have right now if he had been doing those things all along. I don't know what won him over, but hopefully that helped! It was my husband's idea. He is so smart! :) Also the kids' GAL said visits may be going to monit...

We have a lot of privileges in life. Sometimes, privileges get confused with "rights". We don't always have a "right" to certain things; but we may get them as a privilege. Something that is a privilege is working, and the ability to earn money for your work. Sometimes in order to keep these privileges you have to follow certain rules - for instance being on time to work, being kind to your customers, obeying your boss's orders, etc. We have a chore system set up for D by which he can earn money. Some chores he has to do without pay but he does get paid for many of his chores. When he first moved in with us, it was like pulling teeth to get him to do a good job at anything. He didn't want to follow the rules. For example, he did not want to move the kitchen chairs to sweep - he just wanted to sweep around them. And he didn't want to pick things up off the floor to vacuum - he just wanted to vacuum around them. He rushed through everything, lea...

I am on call for jury duty this week and next. It wouldn't be so bad, except that I am running a marathon one week from today in a town 5 hours away. I had hoped to leave Friday around 1 or so, so we could drive out and get to our hotel, find somewhere to eat, and settle in and still have plenty of time to get to bed at a decent hour seeing as how I will have to wake up at like 5 a.m. or maybe earlier and then go run 26 miles! Friday is the day I actually report, so then if I get selected I have to stay the rest of the day; if not then I get to go home (yay) and maybe we can still leave when I was hoping we could leave! Any other time I wouldn't mind it so much but this was just crappy timing! I am interested in the whole jury duty thing and I do think it would be fun to serve...just not on Friday, please! :) The only produce from my garden so far is lots and lots of chives, strawberries, and rhubarb. Just as one patch has started to peter out a bit, the new patch has straw...

The visit with mom got canceled today. Supposedly she is sick. Dad didn't show up for his visit yesterday. Ruh-roh! What will happen now, I wonder? Court is on the 30th. In other news, C came home from his visit yesterday and told me "I peed in my poop at my mom's!" Incidentally, turns out he was peeing and pooping at the same time. While wearing underwear. Lovely, right? At least they were outside when it happens! He generally has an accident on every single visit. I am not sure what the deal is. I haven't mentioned it to anybody yet because I don't know if it is important or not.